Universal Scale of Ugliness : "Nauseating."
"Is it human?"
By Africanlegend.
This is a tragic step down from being offensive. Not only is a person offended by the sight of you, but they actually have an adverse physical reaction that includes extreme dryness of the throat, heaving or gagging.
It is against the law to operate heavy machinery or motor vehicles if a Nauseating person is within a 2 mile radius. In some countries, driving with a Nauseating person in the passenger seat is considered to be an aggravated DUIU (Driving Under the Influence of Ugly). This is considered worse than drunk driving and is punishable by a jail term of no less than 15 years or a fine of no less than 3 million dollars.
If by some cruel twist of fate, you take a Nauseating person home after a night out, you may suffer a mild heart attack when you finally sober up in the morning and see their ugly mug in your face and feel their paws on your chest.
The best thing a person like this can do is convert to a religion which offers a non refundable "cover your face" feature. Alternatively, you can order Scorpion or Sub-Zero's Mortal Kombat costumes off ebay.
Nauseating people are naturally treated poorly by customer service workers. Don't be surprised to hear Nauseating people say things like:
“It took them hours to bring my food, but not my friends”
“People around us threw up but I thought the food was fine”
"The mall was completely empty today...i thought that was weird."
"There is an accident on highways 51, 43, 56, 67, 56 and 78 everytime I drive on them!"
Examples: Steven Tyler, White Michael Jackson, Mick Jagger, Alec Wek and any other "African supermodel experiments", Robert Pattinson in Twilight, Amy Winehouse, Courtney Love.
Chance of Marriage: 14% (Spouse is likely to be blind)
Chance of divorce: 0.00012% (May resort to violence to keep a mate)
Chance of divorce: 0.00012% (May resort to violence to keep a mate)
Category: Funny, Lists, Relationships
