Educating the West part 3: White people in Africa
Where to find white people in Africa.
"Note: You may find white people in obscure places doing relief work, but they are likely to be westerners rather than natives."
By Africanlegend.
Q: She can't be from Africa. She's white!
I was hanging out with my white African friend Sparklingjem when a group of westerners heard a Lion King type of accent and they approached us.
Westerner 1 (probably American): Hey you guys don't sound like you are from here.
AL: Yeah we aren't actually. I am from Zambia, she's from South Africa. In Africa!
Westerner 2 (unknown decent but let's assume America): Africa...wait but she is white? Are there white people in Africa? What are they doing there? Are they lost? Should we rescue them?
The truth is, there are a decent amount of white people in Africa whose descendants have been there long enough that they can be considered 'native'. They manage to avoid fighting wars, starving, causing political disturbances and generally have homes so they are never featured on western media like CNN. Despite being on a completely different continent, these white people share the 7 universal characteristics of ALL white people.
1. They lack self preservation instincts, so they do dangerous things like skydiving, bungy jumping and investigating suspicious activities.
2.They are on time.
3.They believe in social order so they don't cut lines.
4.They are generally close to anywhere where money is readily available.
5.They generally dislike black people and all black-related shenanigans.
6.They deny #5, so they have one token black friend to cite as evidence that they are not racist.
7.They don't beat their children, resulting in the little brats screaming at them in their youth.
8.They play loud discombobulated sounds and pass it off as music.
Still don't believe me? To prove that white people in Africa are no different from regular white people, here is a group of white people that got together to make loud discombobulated sounds and pass it off as music. Apart from having funny accents they are pretty status quo white dudes.
*The one that arrived late has been hanging around with too many black people so that is why he arrived on African Time (AT); 3 hours late, which is bad even by black peoples' standards.
USED2Bsyris: David Garbers (Guitar and Vocals), Chris Baillie (Bass) Mark Rose (Drums)
Myspace: www.myspace.com/used2bsyris
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OTHER LESSONS
Part 1: The Geography of Africa
Part 2: Languages in Africa
COMING SOON: Part 4: Clothing in Africa
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