7 Secrets ALL men keep from women.
By Africanlegend.
1. We always think you are wrong.
“You’re right, I understand” or “You may have a point.” is translation for, “I am going to stop this argument before one of us, not you, ends up in jail explaining to police officers how they managed to get an expensive stiletto heel shoved up your….[this is going exactly where you think it is going].
2. We don’t listen.
We only listen to the first sentence of anything a woman says before our brain shuts down and goes into autopilot. It’s a medical condition. We process the female voice the same way we process music AND we don’t give a crap about your cat which is generally included after sentence one.
3. We are TERRIFIED when you drive.
More so if you are Asian. If a woman wants to reduce any tough guy into a pathetic mass of trembling fear, she should just ask him for his keys. In a scientific survey conducted recently, female drivers were found to be 78% more scary to men than the Ebola Virus (AP).
4. Just because you can’t find it, doesn’t mean it doesn’t exist.
We signed the “No Porn agreement” in invisible ink. You may not be able to find it, but that’s because we pulled an Al Capone operation and took the business to the Black Market with underground distribution chains extending as for as San Francisco in the West and Bangkok in the East.
5. We have watched Sex and the City and we are terrified.
While you weren't looking, we popped in your Sex and the City DVD to get an insight into the female mind and it caused irreparable damage to our self confidence. Now we can only wonder what you say about us at “baby showers”
6. You aint the Best.
You may have been told you are the best of the lot, but there is always an Ex that was better, funnier and prettier than you. The only reason you don’t know this, is that when you were browsing through the vacation pictures on his computer, he accidentally tripped and fell, spilling water on the computer thus frying his hard drive.
7. Yes, we do go to Happy Hour and play golf all day to avoid you.
Not you per se and not golf or drinking specifically. Just any activity that will stave off the onslaught of the rigorous self and home improvement curriculum that you have been planning for us all day.
Category: Relationships
