7 Reasons I'm NOT a Racist White Person...

By Africanlegend
Being white offers many interesting social challenges. Basically, black people harp on every word you say and are eager to call you a racist while exhibiting rampant racism themselves. That's just how it is. In any case, if you are going to defend yourself against accusations, you need to come up with better ones than these.....

1. I'm not racist...My best friend is black.
Your best friend is black? May I be the first to congratulate you on this incredible achievement. What did he do to earn such an honor? Did he quit rapping? Shun a life of Sean Jean apparel and selling crack to replace it with polo shirts and endless hours of watching Friends? How does sighting one black individual that impacted your life absolve you of saying racist things or having ignorant ideas? Bad defense!


2. I'm not racist...I voted for Obama
Yes, you voted for the first black president of the United States. Granted this is a notable feat, but given the circumstances, did you really have any other choice? Consider that the opposition party forged a legacy that resulted in multiple pointless wars, Slot machine-like Dow Jones index, a nuclear detonation of the housing market and social Armageddon that caused families all over America to downsize from imported caviar to Walmart, generic ground beef. You had little choice but to vote for the "other guys" and they just happened to have a black candidate. Besides after three months in office, you hated the guy while loudly proclaiming that you didn't receive the leprechaun and pot of gold he promised.


3. I'm not racist...I grew up in (insert black, dangerous area)
Just because you grew up in Compton, Detroit or any other black infested, crime ridden city, it doesn't mean you are exempt from being racist. You may have experienced a tougher upbringing and you should probably be proud that you didn't get iced buying candy on the street corner. However, unless you plan to be the next Eminem, this information is useless to us. Besides, there are plenty of decent areas even in the toughest cities i.e suburbs where white people relocate to avoid black people (they are good at that you know) so lord knows this is hardly a good defense.


4. I'm not racist...My family used to have black people come over for dinner all the time.
Was that a memorable enough occurrence for you to even be stating it in public? The fact that you made mental note of this and view it as an achievement is a concern. I am glad you overcame your inner demons and actually let one black family have dinner at your house. Did you actually let them inside your house? That counts as extra. Did you allow them to use your finest silverware? Did you offer them chairs or did they sit on the floor like monkeys? Did you cook fried chicken for them? Tell us more about this to illustrate why this act of kindness exempts you from being racist.


5. I'm not racist...[Start crying]
This actually happened to me. I was at a party and some girl made some harmless, ambiguous, comment and I made some equally harmless retort and said. "wow you must not like black people," and smiled immediately afterwards to indicate the benign nature of my comment. The girl began to leak tears of racial equality from her eyes before a small outburst. "How can you say I don't like black people," she exclaimed before citing reason 1 in her own defense and bursting into tears. I asked her what possible reason she'd have for crying but before she could answer, Team Boyfriend arrived and ushered me onto the pavement outside thus beginning my confused, descent home. Granted while we were outside he acknowledged that he kicked me out of fear of greater repercussions from his girlfriend if he didn't take some form of action against me.


6. I'm not Racist...I watch BET
BET actually despises black people. It's mission is to provide mind numbing, brain eroding programming that will forever cripple the youth and encourage them to grow up and aspire only to be either rappers or athletes. It misrepresents black people and depicts comically dressed renditions of "hip-hop culture," reinforcing just about every negative black stereotype you can think of (wow that's a mouthful). Besides, it's owned by Viacom (white dudes) so arguably, watching BET will make you more racist.

7. I'm not Racist...I listen to Hip-Hop
Maybe this would fly a few years ago, but in recent times Hip Hop has been kidnapped and shipped off to white suburbia. Anything uncomfortable for white suburbia, like black empowerment, social critique, talks of "the struggle" or lyrics, has been removed and replaced with small catchy phrases and retarded dances. This revolution has left us with music about ice, bling, fast cars, blunts, bitches and many other destructive black stereotypes that can be enjoyed in bars or clubs by white people without having them feel any white guilt whatsoever.

Category: Race