The 5 Best Ways to be a Good Boyfriend.

By Sparklingjem & Africanlegend (Sparklinglegend)
The worst thing in the world you can do is listen to a woman tell you what she wants from a man. A study found that 89.45% (AP) of women are dating a douchebag or have dated one or more douchebags within the last 6 months. After massive internal disagreements on the quality of advice being offered by Sparklingjem (SJ), she agreed to let me, Africanlegend (AL), add my commentary to all the advice she has given, offering more practical information that men can actually use. Here goes!

Also read (How to be a good girl friend: The 5 step guide)

The 5 Best Ways to be a Good Boyfriend.:

1. Listen to her.
SJ says: Women respect men who listen to them. Women should be made to feel like anything connected to them must be interesting to their loved one, whether it’s buying bread at the supermarket, or three-hour-long anecdotes about her cats, make sure you listen to every word she says.

AL says: You don't ACTUALLY have to listen to anything. In fact, studies have shown that males process the higher pitched female voice similar to the way they process music. A series of well-timed nods and a look of attentiveness will suffice in most cases. Just agree with her and dislike whatever she's whining about. Whatever you do, don't offer an opinion that is not the same as hers because she will probably get angry or worse, you may actually have to start listening for real!

2) Surprise her.
SJ says: Send her flowers or buy her gifts for no reason at all. This will show her you’ve been thinking about her and made the effort to let her know.  It will also give her a chance to show off to the rest of the girls in the office about how great you are.

AL says: Without this, she will give you no affection and definitely no sex! The best advice I can offer you is to try to take note of reccurring things she may talk about. Usually ladies will tell you exactly how they want to be surprised and just pretend to be surprised later (i.e Wow, Jane got flowers today, I wish something like that happened to me!).

3. Be honest.
SJ says: Honesty is very important for both partners in a relationship but especially for men. This is because women can tell when you’re lying. On the plus side, women are always kind and extremely understanding and they will always act fairly.

AL says: Just don't do anything that raises suspicion, like a sudden change of  schedule, deviant behavior or suddenly using a password to lock your cell phone. If you are a serial douchebag and suddenly you start telling her you love her, in her mind you have been or are being dishonest and it doesn’t matter if you actually have been or not.

4. Give her compliments.
SJ says: Women put a lot of effort into looking good for you. Make sure she realizes you appreciate it. Do not over-compliment her looks or she will feel like you don’t see her as a person but just an object. The optimum balance to keep her happy is one ‘inner person’ compliment for every nine ‘surface level’ compliments.

AL says: Telling her she is wearing a nice dress or that she looks sexy are "lipstick on a pig," "band-aid on a flat tire" type of compliments and will only temporarily make her feel better. They are intense but short-lived; so good if you make a colossal screw up of some sort. However, telling her that she is funny, brilliant or super smart will usually hit the spot.

5, Ask for her opinion.
SJ says: Make her feel like you value what she thinks and want her to be part of the decision-making. Once she has given you her opinion, follow it. She will have put a lot of time and thought into it and most likely knows better than you. She will also make you regret it if you don’t.

AL says: You don't have to follow any of her opinions, you just have to acknowledge them. If you follow her opinions too often, you might think she appreciates it but a few months down the line she'll call you a “little bitch with no backbone,” who can’t make decisions for himself. Trust me on this one she may even quote me exactly.

FOLLOW THESE STEPS AND YOU'll BE ON YOUR WAY TO THIS

Category: Funny