Make your Own Terrorist in 9 Easy Steps!
By Africanlegend
You have seen them blowing up buildings, buses and even themselves but how can you make your own professional grade terrorist that will make your neighbors go, "WOW?" We have just the answer with this exclusive Homemade Terrorist Recipe.
Ingredients:
1 Country in turmoil
Weapons and Training
Rebel fighters
Oil or other natural resource
1 ounce of Democracy
A Puppet leader
USA
Propaganda
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| Make sure you pick ripe, lively rebels as they will form the main ingredient of your terrorist. |
Prep Time: 10 years Cook Time: 5 years Ready in: 15 years
1) Locate a country in turmoil. Libya is in season and can be found pretty inexpensively in Africa, complete with an ailing dictatorship and an already ripe civil war.
2) Make sure country has oil or some other natural resource or the terrorists will not hold together once you are done and there will be no point in using it..
3) Add 4 cups of USA to the country and stir utill you can smell a slight aroma of arrogance.
4) Take your Rebel fighters and season them lightly with Weapons and Training. Let the mixture simmer for 5 years on a skillet..
5) Let the conflict in the country simmer until rebels fighters are browning and in control.
6) When the rebels are fully matured and in control, add 4 ounces of Democracy. Stir until confusion and chaos can be observed. Promise to not interfere in the process. Let it stand for 3 years.
7) Take 1 Puppet leader of your choice, grate and add to the mixture. Be sure not to stop interfering until rebel fighter mixture is brought to a bubble and eventually to a rage. This should take about 4 years.
8) Wait until rebel mixture errupts in your face and causes 3rd degree burns then add a generous amount of propaganda.
9) Now you have a full blown TERRORIST.
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| Terrorist, browned and topped with Creme Fraiche to add an extra sour taste and nutty texture |
Category: Funny
