Uggs vs Crocs: Showdown of the Sh@tty shoes!

Uggs are currently trending on twitter despite temperatures soaring in the high 90's in most of the country, proving that people still subscribe to the idea that  $$$ + comfort + Sh@tty appearance = Style. Meanwhile, Crocs are still on the rampage and are the golden standard for the "comfort meets ridiculous look" side of the spectrum but which monstrosity is worse? Which hideous shoe pushes the limits of ugly and tacky to new astronomical heights. Lets break it down!

UGGS......

• Preferred by white women who also own Apple products and frequent frozen yogurt establishments and organic supermarkets. 
• Wearers are also magnetically drawn to Starbucks and gigantic sunglasses.
• Originally worn as soon when temperatures dip below 60°F but are now worn with skirts and shorts in temperatures as high as 105°F.
• Could previously have been the shoe of choice for mammoth-hunting cavemen in prehistoric times.
• Negative opinion on Uggs based on ugly appearance, tacky look, exorbitant price and use in appropriate weather conditions.

CROCS......

• Shoe of choice for babies, nurses, gardeners, stoners, delinquents and men and women aged 45-90.
• Inherently includes double clothing crime “Crocs with Socks”and because of this can be worn all year round.
• Considered "Cheap and comfortable" rather than "Expensive and Comfortable" also considered ugly.
• Commonly spotted near baby carriages, at beaches, on red carpets and at corner grocery stores.
• May originally have been invented clowns to wear with their pajamas before bed, offering a clown like appearance while providing comfort. 
• Negative opinion on Crocs based on ridiculous appearance, childish look and assortment of colors that never match with any clothing.

So which shoes are more despicable? Uggs or Crocs? I hope you can decide, because I pretty much can’t.

Category: Funny, Lists