5 Ways to be a More Successful Super Villain! (For Super Villains).

You have failed me for the last time!? ~ oh can it!

1. Mass produce decent Minions.

I always wondered why Rita and Lord Zedd (Power Rangers) even bothered to send down the Puttys when we all knew they were destined to fail. Examples of mass produced, highly ineffective minions have been a staple in Super Villain's arsenal for years yielding paltry results. A word of advice, don't cut costs when it comes to your entry level minions or you will create a large number of poorly made specimens that will lack the ability to complete even simple tasks. Make less minions and put more effort into each one so that they can perform the rudimentary tasks you ask of them. Minions do not need to necessarily be completely mindless drones. Give them the ability to execute simple attack strategies like having them all attacking at once instead of one by one, in a single file, enabling many of them to be destroyed by very few heroes. This way whatever plan you have is not doomed to fail from the get go.

2. Stop Killing your skilled Henchmen.

To encourage your underlings not to repeat the failings of their predecessors, I am sure in the past you have probably brutally eliminated many of your senior henchman. This "If you fail you die" doctrine has been around for many years and you are not the first to employ it. Taken to it's logical conclusion, you can see the flaws with running an evil empire in this manner. This policy causes its practitioners to kill off many of their more skilled henchmen and reduce the size and quality of their work force. Survivors are left demoralized, afraid to take initiative, and inclined to either desert or kill you before you attempt to kill them. The "If you fail you die" policy ensures that the newly "promoted" henchmen work in constant fear. The henchmen never have the opportunity to learn from their errors and gain valuable experience that will enable them to carryout future plans with more success.

3. Make sure the hero dies!
As a Super Villain, you have numerous opportunities to win a battle outright. You will have the hero at your mercy and you will have a choice to make. Do you wait for a few additional seconds to make sure you have eliminated the hero or do you let hubris take over and walk off laughing maniacally. How many times have you walked away thinking you had the hero destroyed only to realize his demise has been greatly exaggerated? Worse yet, have you ever just inexplicably chosen to spare the hero's life based on something very arbitrary? You are not alone and this is probably the most commonly, documented mistake most of you make. If you plan on eliminating a hero, observe the following guidelines:

1) Wait for visual confirmation of his demise. Don't walk away just before it happens? What have you got going on that can't wait a few seconds.
2) Don't listen to any pleas for sanctuary, the hero will say anything to survive.
2) Handle his elimination personally. Do not leave him under the supervision of your mindless minions. They will fail, they always do.
3) Use a method that enables the above criteria can be satisfied  i.e don't destroy him via a device like an explosive because you will have to leave, enabling him a brief period of time to execute an escape.


4. Do not Motivate the Hero.

In the past, I am sure you have always felt that your plan needed to include some element of mockery, pain or suffering that you must make the hero go through. Maybe you have kidnapping, harming and in some cases killed someone close to the hero. Theatrics like this are extremely unnecessary and grossly ill-advised. All they do is give the hero that extra bit of motivation to succeed. They make it personal and light an unquenchable fire in the hero's heart that will burn until the day he gets his vengeance. So no more kidnapping, crippling or killing anyone related to the protagonist. I am aware that you enjoy this a great deal but aren't you tired of failing miserably on account of a second wind such actions give to the hero right at the death. Just carry out your plan as is. When the hero has all the odds stacked against them, they will have no source of motivation to keep them going.


5. Do NOT team up with other Super Villains 

The insidious six, the "team" of Villains assembled to destroy Spiderman ~ They failed.

Historically, super villains have been known to team up with other super villains in order to defeat a foe that they have previously failed to defeat as individuals. You may have or may be considering doing this. It works in principal. Combining your talents and skills will certainly make a tough alliance for the usually under-manned heroes. The problem is, you need team players to have a "team." No true super villain thinks of a diabolical plan with the intention of sharing their power with anybody at the end. Teaming up with an all star ensemble of super villains is as bad of an idea as bathing with an electric eel. Ultimately you will all turn on each other and cannibalize your own efforts, ending up in a worse position than you were originally in. How can teaming up with somebody that wants to destroy you be a good idea? A Salmon does not employ the services of a bear to help it swim up a stream.

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