Super Mum: Stand Up for Family....
This is a Sponsored post written by me on behalf of American Family Insurance for SocialSpark. All opinions are 100% mine.
Comedians doing it for family. AmFam (American Family Insurance) rounded up a few comedians and hit us
with some family friendly comedy.
All the jokes resonate well with me because I grew up in a tight-knit neighborhood which was pretty much run by a gestapo regime of vigilant mothers with dictatorial mandates and in my opinion superpowers. Human beings should not be able to do certain things. We can't see through solid objects, we can't hear people's thoughts and we can't travel faster than the speed of light. However, my mum could do all of those things. She had the following powers.
X-ray vision:
I once walked in from school. I was wearing long pants and one of the school uniform coats. I had lost my own coat but had gone to the lost and found to get a replica. This was not the first time I had done this and by now I was picking replicas that were indifferentiable from the originals. I walked in and her immediate reaction was, "that's not your coat," then somehow managed to read the name tag behind my neck, "Go give it back to Stephan." Then topped it off by telling me I wasn't wearing the right socks by seeing through my pants and shoes ~ but how?
Super Speed, possibly flight:
My mum is a large woman, but don't be fooled by that. She moves like a cheetah. Occasionally, I was banned from going to my friends' houses because I did things like come back really late, break windows and cause general embarrassment to my family. Bans wouldn't stop me though so I simply snuck out. On one occasion, I made up an excuse to go outside, jumped over the fence and ran to my friend's house at full speed. I found her in front of the gate at my friends house, and there appeared to be some kind of ripple in the space/time continuum as there were leaves and dust everywhere ~ she had no car ~How did she do it?
Psychic abilities:
My mum could definitely read thoughts and Homeland security should consider using her services. Her ability to snuff out my plans as I was thinking them was uncanny. She was always a step ahead of me. She would also just walk into a room and say, "It's locked so don't even think about it," and quickly slither away into the shadows.
I have tons of stories and that's why Stand Up For Family is something I can really Appreciate because family is really all we'll ever have at the end of the day.....
Comedians doing it for family. AmFam (American Family Insurance) rounded up a few comedians and hit us
with some family friendly comedy.
All the jokes resonate well with me because I grew up in a tight-knit neighborhood which was pretty much run by a gestapo regime of vigilant mothers with dictatorial mandates and in my opinion superpowers. Human beings should not be able to do certain things. We can't see through solid objects, we can't hear people's thoughts and we can't travel faster than the speed of light. However, my mum could do all of those things. She had the following powers.
X-ray vision:
I once walked in from school. I was wearing long pants and one of the school uniform coats. I had lost my own coat but had gone to the lost and found to get a replica. This was not the first time I had done this and by now I was picking replicas that were indifferentiable from the originals. I walked in and her immediate reaction was, "that's not your coat," then somehow managed to read the name tag behind my neck, "Go give it back to Stephan." Then topped it off by telling me I wasn't wearing the right socks by seeing through my pants and shoes ~ but how?
Super Speed, possibly flight:
My mum is a large woman, but don't be fooled by that. She moves like a cheetah. Occasionally, I was banned from going to my friends' houses because I did things like come back really late, break windows and cause general embarrassment to my family. Bans wouldn't stop me though so I simply snuck out. On one occasion, I made up an excuse to go outside, jumped over the fence and ran to my friend's house at full speed. I found her in front of the gate at my friends house, and there appeared to be some kind of ripple in the space/time continuum as there were leaves and dust everywhere ~ she had no car ~How did she do it?
Psychic abilities:
My mum could definitely read thoughts and Homeland security should consider using her services. Her ability to snuff out my plans as I was thinking them was uncanny. She was always a step ahead of me. She would also just walk into a room and say, "It's locked so don't even think about it," and quickly slither away into the shadows.
I have tons of stories and that's why Stand Up For Family is something I can really Appreciate because family is really all we'll ever have at the end of the day.....
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