Concordia Captain Francesco Schettino explains that he Tripped, fell and Landed in a Lifeboat (video)

AL | 10:03 PM |

(Concordia
Lying Bastard and disgraced captain, Francesco Schettino, under house arrest and facing charges of manslaughter and abandoning his ship
The Costa Concordia, an Italian luxury cruise ship carrying more than 4,000 passengers and crew struck rocks Friday evening near Giglio off the coast of Tuscany, during a close pass to shore. At least 11 people were killed in the aftermath when the ship keeled over. Nearly two dozen people are still missing.

The Costa Concordia as it appeared from space by satellite. The luxury cruise ship ran aground in the Tuscan waters off of Giglio, Italy
The Costa Concordia as it appeared from space on Jan. 17, 2012. The luxury cruise ship ran aground in the Tuscan waters off of Giglio, Italy on Friday, January 13
In very much the same way Tiger Woods simply slipped, fell, knocked his head and woke up in several different vaginas, Captain Francesco Schettino, the pantomime villain of this piece, explained how he ended up safely in a lifeboat instead of back on the Concordia affecting a rescue. Schettino explains that he tripped and fell into a lifeboat as it was being lowered into the sea thus conveniently rendering him unable to return to the ship to help coordinate rescue attempts.

"I had no intention of escaping," Francesco Schettino, 52, said during his first court hearing Tuesday, according to Italy's Corriere della Sera newspaper. 

"I was helping some passengers put the life boat to sea. At a certain point the mechanism for lowering it, blocked. We had to force it. Suddenly the system unblocked itself and I tripped and I found myself inside the life boat with a number of passengers." 

Schettino explained that the ensuing situation made it "impossible to go back on board." Schettino is not doing Italian men any favors by acting in accordance with the general stereotype that Italian men are liars and cheats. The progress of Schettino's trial simply uncovers one lie after another and is fast becoming a media sideshow with the death and lose involved taking a back seat to the theatrics. 


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