Stupid People That Need to Go: "My Baby is a Genius" Moms!

I bet their mommas think they are both geniuses...

Kim just churned out yet another baby and is bringing it to the office for show and tell. Like its predecessors Kim claims her baby is a genius capable of many unbaby-like feats. Apparently, the 3 month old baby is capable of operating small electronics like remote controls, cell phones and graphing calculators. The baby is also able to complete basic tasks like frying eggs or making grilled cheese sandwiches and is able to solve quadratic equations. Kim is a nice lady and you give her the benefit of the doubt ~ again.

[enter Kim stage left. Kim is carrying what can only be described as a comatose infant.]

Everyone rejoices and is anxious to touch it and make faces at it, but Kim stops them from getting near the child before she completes her brief demonstration of its intellectual prowess. She counts on her fingers beckoning the child to respond but there is no response. She hands the child her iphone to "use" and it responds by hurling it to the floor shattering it into a million pieces. She hands the child a quadratic equation and the child eats the paper on which it is written before depositing a compound of drool and mucus on Kim's blouse. The baby then proceeds to stare into blank space for a few minutes. Finally, Dave, a coworker, makes a funny face at the child and it giggles before smacking Dave in the face. Everybody laughs and the child thanks them by leaving smelly dividends in its diaper.

Next, it's the invention of time travel....

Why this person has to go.
Between 2-5% of the word's population are geniuses. You child is, in all likelihood not a genuis, nor does it really matter.  It does not mean they will not be exceptional. Touching random buttons on a phone resulting in a call is not proof that it can use a phone and incoherent baby babble, however similar in sound, is not proof that it can speak French. What is wrong with having a normal, booger eating, diaper pooping child? They are almost all like that anyway, but people still love and cherish them. They are special in their own right, regardless of what mutant powers you superimpose on them. Stop wasting precious child rearing time convincing everyone that your genes gave birth to a genius and spend more time making sure it doesn't grow up to be a retard.

Category: Funny