So Retards, Techno is Cool Now??? Chris Brown, Black Eyed Peas and the Techno Revolution.

I do not understand the latest revolution in music and why it has occurred at a time when it is completely useless to ME. I was uncool, in the most profound manner in early high school on account of my obsession with Techno/Rav/Dance ~ call it what you will.

In my younger days the "in thing" to do was listen to hip-hop which consisted mainly of Puff Daddy, Mase, Biggy and 2pac. 2pac got shot (twice) then died. Biggy emulated his demise by dieing shortly there after. Hip-hop was at an all time high with real beef (that didn't take place on youtube), deaths and inter-gang turmoil and conflict. Then 50 cent upped the ante and decided to get shot several times but improved on the formula by surviving which turned to be more practice as you could release record to capitalize on you street credibility.

--------------> FAST FORWARD 10 years.....

You cannot listen to the radio for more than five minutes with hearing Techno and hip-hop is dominated by 14 year olds singing songs about thing the shouldn't know anything about i.e bitches, blunts and ho's, requiring us to learn complex dances to fully enjoy their songs.

Black Eyed Peas, who I really know because of this track:

Tascam Handhelds, Portastudios, and DAW's! Capture Your Music without Emptying Your Wallet!

SUDDENLY, BEGAN SINGING THIS AND IT WAS DOWNHILL FROM THERE....

THEN...

Chris Brown whipped Rihanna's ass, We saw it happen, there are pictures of it (see below). It's not  speculation and Chris Brown did not go to court and have to have anybody have to describe the shape of his penis to prove anything (R.I.P M.J). We KNOW it happened. End of his career right? No, that would be harsh, I'll be honest but at least a noticeable drop in popularity right?

NOPE!!

Beat by Chris Brown (sponsored by the many women out there that just didn't seen to give enough of a f@ck to stop listening to his music)

Chris Brown said he was sorry and went to a few weeks of celebrity rehab ~ That makes it all OK. Then women adored him again? Consequently, I don't take women that listen to Chris Brown seriously when that talk of female equality or power etc because as far as I am concerned every time they listen to a Chris Brown track the punch Rhianna one more time in her pretty face. The worst part about it is what stupid people will do with this model of success. One person made a sex tape and suddenly that was the new thing to do. So ladies if you man aspires to be a pop-star, take self defense lessons or at least get comprehensive medical aid.

Why am I on this Chris Brown line of thought again? Oh yeah, TECHNO. Chris Brown is basically a techno artist now and most pop music has headed that way. You can put Usher on that list too who has sold his soul to MY music, from his previous RnB flavor which I preferred to be honest.

Don't agree that this new POP Music = Techno? How can you justify that this song ISN'T techno?

It has all the classic signs of TECHNO written all over it:

1)Monotonous beat
2)You can fit the lyrics on a "post it (sticky paper)."
3)Nobody over 40 can stand it ~ they refer to it as noise!
4)And white people can dance to it and not look awkward

What is my point here? My point is that I am way cooler than everyone else. How much cooler? At least 5 years worth of coolness since I was ahead of this trend and ostracized as a result.

Furthermore I demand a WRITTEN apology from all the women who rejected me soley based on my taste in music, which has consequently become yours. I also call on Chris Brown to do the honorable thing, which would be to retire from music and commit ritualistic, Japanese suicide (seppuu) Then I die happy.......

Category: Funny