Section 1) History 101: The Obsolete male

Enter the world of Prehistoric man; the Neanderthal. They lived in a dangerous world at the mercy of the elements and predatory creatures. Evolution played its part in ensuring their survival. The male's job was to protect the female and the little Neanderthals that she spawned. The male evolved to be bigger than the female, possess more strength, and produce more testosterone causing him to be more aggressive.

Enter the world of contemporary man. In recent times humans have come to dominate the environment. The threat of being eaten by a lion is no more a rationally defensible fear (yes white people, even in Africa). No longer do we have to hunt, we can just order a Pizza and wings. The female does not even need to be protected anymore. In fact in 2000 AD females officially announced their independence with the hit song “Independent Women” by Destiny's Child. Furthermore, I was recently brutally assaulted in public by a female that I once thought to be benign. So if anything, it may even be the male that needs protection these days! So evidently the evolutionary gift of size and aggression is quickly becoming a useless skill set.

In essence males have to constantly deal with the reality of their growing obsolescence. We males still have our aggression but we channel it into pointless competitions on x-box 360 and farting in each others faces. For example, the other night I raced my friend in a dead sprint just to prove I could beat him. For the record I lost, fell flat on my face and annihilated my belt (I lost but he is Italian so by definition he must have cheated right??). However, evolution is running it course. In recent times, we have seen Australopithecus Affectionus or the gay man which is an answer to the obsolescence of the male. We also see Metrosexualus Afarensis, a reconciliation of male and female traits, leaning heavily towards the latter. So it is a battle for the male as his evolutionary purpose dissipates from generation to generation.

WHAT DO WE HAVE LEFT???????.....HMM RAP BATTLES I GUESS!!! Take it away Kat Williams!!!



COMING SOON!!!! History 101: Rise of the female.

Category: Relationships