10 Signs and Symptoms that you have Jungle Fever.

“Jungle Fever” is the title given to an inter-racial relationship between a white person and a black person. Jungle Fever is an epidemic sweeping through civilization at an alarming rate. This is due to the fact that Caucasians sub-consciously realize that black genes are key to human survival and progress. Latest statistics indicate that a staggering 3 in every 5 white girls suffer from Jungle Fever as compared to 2 in every 4 white males. In a recent survey 8 out of 6 black males admitted to being interested in white females. Black women, unless of mixed race, or from Connecticut, showed little or no interest in white males. There is no cure for Jungle Fever and once affected, one remains a carrier for the rest of their life. As a survivor and carrier of this deadly disease, I have prepared a list of the symptoms so you can catch it early. So here are some signs that you may have Jungle Fever.

1. You are at your all white thanksgiving gathering and all you can think about is turning down your black co-workers invitation to his family BBQ. You are thinking of your preference for fried chicken over turkey and your affinity for water melon and loud, crazed families.


2. You have stopped watching shows like "Friends", "Seinfeld" and "Darma and Greg". All of a sudden, you are obsessed with UPN and BET. All you watch are shows like: "The Steve Harvey Show", "The Jaime Fox show" and "106 and Park with Terrence & Rocsi".


3. You are a white female. There is a show with numerous shirtless white guys and you decide this is the appropriate time to get up, go to the bathroom and refresh. When you see a shirtless black man, you transfix yourself and will kick, bite, scratch and pepper spray anyone that gets in your way.


4. You are a white male and you have developed a secret obsession with Beyonce, Rihanna and Ciara. You play their CD's on low volume, but when your white co-workers bust in, you quickly switch back to Britney Spears and Christina Aguilera.


5. You are black but you have adopted “white-cessories” or “white wear”. You are now wearing the patented blue and white striped dress shirt, the polo shirt (possibly triple popped collar), Khaki pants, Quicksilver Sandals and other various “white-cessories”. You dress for the women you want, so being a coconut is your approach.


6. You are a white girl but you have developed an affinity for Hip-Hop; Bad Hip-Hop that is. Instead of working hard at work, you listen to hip hop mix tapes and practice the “Stanky Leg” all day.


7. You are a black male and think it is possible for a woman to be too fat.


8. You are a white individual at an all white party. You are bored and cower away in the corner because you have nothing to say to those people. One black person walks in and you immediately rush towards them. You have no regard for anyone standing in your way. You pull spin moves, club people, and elbow children just to get to them.


9. You are white. The proper conduct of a white person is to be prompt, reliable and on time. All of a sudden, not only are you unreliable and late all the time, but you love it. Even if you are running on time, you stop to chat with random strangers just to make yourself late for work.


10. Although you know it is taboo, you begin to develop such a familiarity with Black culture that you begin to refer to black people as, “brothers” or “sisters”, eventually trying to work your way up to using “nigga”. One day you actually use “nigga” and you are appropriately beaten and left on on the street corner.

Remember, there is no cure! “Once you go black you never turn back” and “Once you go white you go straight back to black”. If you feel that you might be suffering from Jungle Fever, contact your nearest racist center for support and counseling.

ORRRRRRR!!!

Just enjoy it and sing the song!! JUNGLE FEVER – STEVIE WONDER

Category: Jungle fever, Relationships