The Sparkling Guide to Men: The Nerd
"Nerds will take over the Planet: The Invasion is coming!"
Many people have confused The Intelligent/Witty Guy with a nerd after reading our previous article. So many intelligent, witty guys emailed me complaining about this misdiagnoses that I felt it my duty to clarify things.
I shall illustrate the difference between an INTELLIGENT WITTY GUY and A NERD with a simple Venn Diagram.
"While Intelligent Witty guys have many nerd-like characteristics like intelligence, they also have evolved social skills and charm through an unknown genetic mutation (Mutant Nerds) that we refer to as Wit."
The Nerd is misunderstood and often appears as boring, rigid and stuffy in social settings. This is because in his eager pursuit for knowledge he forgot to find a way to communicate it to us in a way that doesn't make him appear insane. The nerd will lack any knowledge or skills he cannot acquire from a text book or Google. He will be awkward in large groups, tell jokes no one understands and make references to things no one has ever heard of. A Nerd is genetically closer to a computer with a primitive artificial intelligence than he is to a man.
Becoming the Nerd
You need not bother with classically social activities because the masses will frustrate you. Buy a host of the finest school supplies, hit the library and spend all your time reading books or writing. The only people you can socialize with are other nerds. The best way to do this is sign up for a "Massive Multi-player Online Role-playing Game" or MORPG like World of War Craft or Dungeons and Dragons Online. This way you can waste countless hours of your day while meeting other like-minded nerds. You could also become a college professor.
Types of girls this is best for:
Nerdy Girls and really beautiful trophy wives who everybody knows are just with you for your money.
Guys who suite this role
Guys with a remarkable IQ but poor social skills. Indians or Japanese.
"Harold and Kumar - Indian Doctor and Asian business man"
Why he is irresistible
A lot of research is being done but as of now there is no conclusive evidence that a Nerd is irresistible to any woman except a female nerd.
What he should wear:
Spectacles, out-dated clothing, War of the World Craft t-shirts with his character name on it and anything Harry Potter-esc.
Where he should take her
The "Pilgram's Bounty" in The World of Warcraft where you can both reflect on your journeys and good fortune, sharing plentiful food and stories with friends.
Note: You are most likely to create a life-changing invention due to your high intellect and spare time. After you die, generations later, people will finally understand your genius and talk about how great you were. However, in present life you will simply appear to the masses as pathetic and insane.
OTHER TYPES OF MEN: Mr Romantic, The Free Spirit. The Rebel. The Witty/intelligent guy. The Foreign Guy
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