How to be a good girlfriend (The 5 step process).
If you have decided to enter into a relationship and you don't know how to be a good girlfriend, there are a few simple rules you should know before starting out. It may be tempting to try to be the cool or understanding girlfriend, but that threatens the balance of power women have held for centuries. And more importantly it tears the fabric that is the basic foundation and structure of society. You may also argue that your boyfriend is different/extra special, but that is probably something you came up with while you were heavily "medicated". Be warned. ALL men are the same and EXTREMELY DANGEROUS unless kept under proper control. Any woman violating or failing to enforce these simple laws will be branded a lesbian and/or a communist.
Disclaimer: Please note we take no responsibility for any problems arising if you have not read 6 reasons to avoid a relationship or have ignored any of our previous advice.
Step 1: Enforced removal of all other women.
Whether they are friends or colleagues, other women are very dangerous. Every woman has a built in genetic imperative to screw things up for other women that are happier than they are. So a happy, captive man will draw affection from women that were previously uninterested in him provided he is in a healthy relationship.
Also, because other women are not bound to enforce any laws, they come across as cooler and more understanding. Naturally, this is only to lure men in before beginning an enforcement program of their own. Men unfortunately do not understand that their girlfriends only enforce these restrictive measures on them for their own good and do not necessarily enjoy doing so.
How to get rid of them
Never say anything that is outrightly critical about his female friends or demand he never see them again. This will backfire and reinforce all the bitchy things she is no-doubt saying about you. First say something nice about her. Then mention something about her that your boyfriend is unaware of and will find repulsive.
Examples:
"Wow your friend Carla is soooooooo awesome, do you know she won the New York Shopathon 3 years in a row."
OR
"Lyndsie has such a great sense of humour. She was telling me the funniest story about the time her gynecologist diagnosed her with genital warts."
COMING SOON. STEP 2: GET RID OF HIS SINGLE FRIENDS
Category: Relationships
