What the Fo is FOMO

AL | 2:17 PM |

By Sparklingjem



What Exactly did you think you’d be missing out on?

I was listening to the radio the other day (always a mistake) and some guy came on to tell the world about his problem. He has been to 172 different psychiatrists, psychologists, neurologists, councillors and therapists. None of them can help him.
He has FOMO. "Fear Of Missing Out!??!!"

He can’t stop buying into new fads and when he does he decks himself out. He has done biking, motocross, snowboarding, model trains, The Twilight Saga and archery among a million other things. He has a mountain bike, an on road bike, an off road bike, skis, toboggans, skateboards, tap shoes, origami paper, books on flower arranging and 2074 miles of miniature train track somewhere in the heaps of clutter in the 22 room mansion he had to buy to house it all. His wife is threatening to leave him since he turned her swimming pool into a shark tank and blew up their basement with his Extreme Science Kit for ages 13 - 17. He has been to every type of therapy under the sun including art therapy, hypnotherapy, electric shock treatment and some strange Japanese therapy where they beat you until you’re unconscious and prod you with burning irons while they chant at you.

I feel for this guy, he is clearly suffering unnecessarily because he has been misdiagnosed. He does not have FOMO, he has TMFM. TOO MUCH F@&%ING MONEY. There is a simple solution for it too. Give it away. Give it to someone who needs it or even just give it to someone who will stop spending it on rubbish and whining about it. Most importantly, don’t let him on air ever again.

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