100 simple thing we take for granted: #5 Your Butt
#5 Your Butt!
It follows us every where we go like the proverbial tail. Some cultures want it huge and others try to vaporize it with exotic fat-free diets. I am talking about the dual cheeked wonder that accompanies us throughout our lives and takes on many different shapes and sizes. I am referring to: the nates, the clunium, the gluteus, the regio glutealis, the ass, the booty, the hiney or as most refer to it, the butt.
The buttocks are the rounded portions of the anatomy located on the posterior of the pelvic region of apes, humans and many other bipeds or quadrupeds. The buttocks allow primates to sit upright without needing to rest their weight on their feet as four-legged animals do. Many people underestimate the sheer versatility and importance their butt plays in their everyday life. Here are just a few functions:
1.The butt provides a built in cushion to make the act of sitting down more comfortable.
In life you may often find yourself fatigued and needing to rest your legs. If you have a big enough ass, it can act as a natural cushion, enabling you to sit relatively comfortably in a chair-less environment.
The butt is very involved in your day to day activities like walking, jumping, running etc. A lot of muscles that assist the legs in motion find their origin in your butt. That is why if you look at most successful runners and athletes, they come with a built in huge ass to assist in propulsion, power, torque and speed.
Butts can cause low self esteem if they don't look exactly as the host wants them to and they can be the root of many fights in relationships.
Girl: Does my ass look big in this dress?
Guy: Hell yeah!! I bet it has it own gravitational pull!
Girl: OMG (runs off and starves herself into some eating disorder)
Girl: I saw you looking at her ass.
Guys: It's genetic, if I didn't I wouldn't be a man.
4.A nice butt can provide opportunities and forge careers.
If you have a really nice butt like Kim Kardashian or Jennifer Lopez you can earn your living off it. A nice butt can act as an excellent substitute for talent, charisma, intelligence, grace, good manners, decorum, common sense, civility, decency or any other life skill you can acquire. I mean, lets face it, nobody watches Keeping up with The Kardashians for its gripping insight and examination of the nature of mankind.
Why stand around for hours with signs and chants like a bunch of hippies when you can make a statement with your hiney. Maybe you disagree with the new SB1040 anti-immigrant laws. Don't bother writing letters to your congress man, simply band together and moon him as he exits his office. Paint your protests and demands on each butt cheek, make sure the press is there and voila, a powerful statement that can't be ignored.
So you are sick and tired of the girl you hate for absolutely no reason except that she is more attractive than you. Why sit and sulk in the corner? Be a true playa-hate-her and sneak up behind her when it is crowded and pull down her skirt. The shame and embarrassment caused by an accidentally exposed glut is priceless.
If you don't shut up you'll get an ass-kicking.
I will kick your butt.
He is about to get an ass whipping.
If she does anything else imma ride up on that ass (meaning unclear)
8. The word Butt and all its variants can be used as virtually any part of speech.
Verb: It was crowded so I had to kind of ass my way through everybody.
Noun: She has a wonderful ass. This place smells like ass.
Adjective: He is a butt-head and she is an ass!
Pronoun: Ass asked me to fill out this report so I have to go home late.
Interjection: Hey Ass! Put that down
So next time you sit down, get up to walk or perform just about any activity that requires motion, take a moment to think about the unsung hero that humanity takes for granted. turn around and say, "Booty, I appreciate you."
FULL LIST
Category: 100 Things we take for GRANTED, Funny, Lists, Relationships
