Dating Must Not's: Must not Stand Up your Date!

Well I guess I'll give him 'til the end of the bottle

By Freya E.
I don't have an especially great memory, I can never remember my email password, I'm terrible with birthdays and I probably could not even tell you what area code I was in last weekend. However, things like a date not showing up I can remember in more detail than necessary.

When you get stood up, you can pretend to shake it off, but really it's a huge hit to your self esteem. You feel like the guy that designed the Titanic felt watching it sink. Standing around like an imbecile, waiting for your date to arrive, is bad enough but then you get paranoid and start to think the world is an audience to your humiliation (which they are). Even if you manage to slink away unnoticed, the moment makes its imprint on you permanently. Eventually you start developing a phobia about making plans with others for fear of being left sitting in a cafe alone, holding back tears, while eating a large piece of high calorie chocolate cake.

By now you've probably realized that there is a story here and yes, I am going to share it with you. Last month on my lunch break I ran into Shawn, a guy I went on a few dates with a while back.

Shawn: Hey... how have you been? You look great!
Me: Oh, thanks! You look good too. I've been good. What's new with you?
Shawn: Got a new job, been working out and enjoying the nice weather. Listen, I'd love to take you to dinner sometime. Are you free after work?
Me: Not today but how about Friday?
Shawn: Yeah. Friday works. I'll pick you up after work.

Thursday
9:17pm - I get a text that says, "I'll text you tomorrow when I am on my way" I reply, "cool. looking forward to it." I am assuming there is nothing ambiguous about my response.

Friday
7:45am - I wore a sexy (but classy) outfit to work and threw some sultry heels in my bag to wear to dinner. Now, ladies, if you have ever gone on a date right after work you can vouch for how difficult it is to attain the sexy/classy balance at work and this time I'd gotten it right.

2:00pm - I sit by my work computer, open up g-chat and send my friend a message explaining how happy I am to have dressed for a date and work. She replies with one of these ":-)"

4:45pm - Work is almost over and still no text from my alleged date. Foolishly, I text him, "are we still meeting up today?" No response.

5:00pm - I head home... feeling down and waiting for the phone call I know will come soon enough.
At this point Shawn has officially blown all chances of taking me out again unless he can prove beyond doubt that he was either; kidnapped by aliens, arrested because he was mistaken for a dangerous but extremely attractive criminal or in a coma.

Friday (A week or two later)
3:45pm - I get a text from Shawn, "Hey, what's new?" Apparently, Shawn has decided that he has waited long enough for me to have forgotten the traumatic shame I felt or that I am so gullible that he can convince me he didn't specify which Friday he agreed to go out.

This, ladies and gentlemen, is significantly worse than the act of not showing up because now Shawn is pretending that he did not commit this terrrible act and assuming I have the brain capacity of a goldfish. Shame on you Shawn! Guys don't stand up your date, there is really no excuse for it.

Category: Funny