KFC: Making us Fat Asses Since 1930

By Africanlegend
The world generally sits back and marvels at just how fat Americans can get. In 2007 about 74.1% of Americans were considered over-weight or obese. That figure is probably inflated by tonnes of 98 pound white girls, who think they are fat, and ill descript survey questions like “Do you feel fatter than usual?” or “Do you still fit in the jeans you bought last summer or is your ass getting in the way?” Jokes aside, when the marketing industry makes a move, it usually indicates an adaptation to consumer wants and so far, it appears that consumers want to be fat asses. I was watching TV and I noticed KFC have taken the idea of making everybody super-sized, jumbo elephants to the extreme with their new “Double Down Sandwich” or as I like to call it “Triple Your Ass Sandwich.” If you haven’t ever heard of it, KFC have revolutionized the sandwich by removing the bread, replacing it with chicken and extinguishing any trace of vegetables. It consists of:

2 chicken breast fillets
Bacon,
2 melted slices of cheese
Mayonnaise sauce
9 heart attacks
7 strokes
3 different types of cancer

It looks like this….
I am by no means a health-food freak or a hippie and neither do I understand the concept or reason for vegetarianism, except maybe to bring us ever closer to the diet our ape-ancestors 300000 years ago may have enjoyed. However, I understand unhealthy when it jumps in my face screaming "die, die, die". In case you sit around tables with calculators counting calories, saturated fat, unsaturated fats, good carbs, evil carbs, blah blah blah, here is a great summary of just what we are dealing with:

I am on my way to get one. I need to go taste one so I can do a better job of faking my moral disdain for this sandwich? Can we even call it a sandwich, I mean technically. At least they are being honest and shooting you in the face with killer food rather than stabbing you in the back like McDonald's who have historically pretended to offer salads on their menus; salads that I suspect were deep fried in bacon fat and cow liver. Anyway, where was I? Oh yeah! I am shocked and appalled. Someone needs to be held accountable for the this outrageous "Sandwich".

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