6 Foolproof ways to AVOID becoming a Boyfriend!
1. Don’t spend quality time…
Quality couple time is generally spent on weekends between 10am and 5:45pm. This is a time when couples go to Parks, Zoos, Brunch etc. If you want to avoid being converted into a boyfriend, you must evacuate her premises by 10am on weekends! Once she gets you in the kill zone after 10am, she will turn on her charm and it is very difficult to escape. I have already had two friends perish just this summer.
2. No running, studying or any other leisurely activity together.
These activities are great bonding exercises. Guys do them with each other to build friendships. If you catch yourself on the sidelines doing a slow, non-athletic jog with a girl while your friends are playing robust, bone crunching soccer it is probably too late for you. Such jogs will give her a chance to “share her feelings” or “express herself.” Listening to girls’ feelings has claimed more mens’ lives than TB, HIV and Malaria combined.
3. No watching Chick flicks.
Chick flicks weaken men and temporarily disable a man's masculinity creating a perfect opportunity for girls to strike a fatal blow to his heart thereby ensnaring him. Chick flicks are most girls weapon of choice,infact it is their most potent WMD. Be careful to read reviews and plot summaries before watching any movie. In the old days chick flicks were easily identifiable by name e.g Love Actually, She’s All that, Never Been Kissed, but now they are disguised such that you have no way of knowing. Twenty Five minutes into George Clooney’s Up in the Air I felt the bear trap close violently on my leg and reality hit me. I was watching a chick flick.
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| Interesting theory HAHA!!! |
If you want to avoid being converted into a BF, you should be unwilling and unhelpful in all issues that involve her emotions or feelings. If you get involved, you will find yourself sliding down an avalanche of mush into the boyfriend zone, in an uncontrollable deadly spiral, like Sonny Bono. She knows if you get involved she has got you so don’t entertain her emotions. Direct all emotion-related stuff to one of her registered BFFs, who are not only willing to listen but will actually offer "better advice" than you or in other words tell her exactly what she wants to hear.
5. Don’t meet her parents.
Introducing you to their parents is just another way of trapping you into spending more time with them. By the time her mom is done telling you how outstanding of a gentleman you are and her dad is done telling you how he shot the last guy in the face with a shot gun, you will have no choice but to exhibit boyfriend-like tendencies. Girls will introduce you to their parents to short circuit your brain thus leaving you vulnerable and weak. Girls introduce boyfriends to their parents in a specific way i.e Hi [insert parent] this is my boyfriend Brian. What will happen is a girl will replace “boyfriend” with “friend” and then behave exactly as she would if you were a boyfriend. By the end of the night you’ll be sitting there confused and legitimately wondering if you really are her boyfriend.
6. Do not attend weddings with her!
If you find yourself at a wedding with girl, she has probably sealed the deal and although you may not have realized it, you are her boyfriend already. By taking you to a wedding, a girl bypasses a man’s instinctual, reptilian-like brain and taps into the areas of the brain associated with nurturing, care and protection. This makes men highly susceptible to becoming boyfriends or in extreme and often fatal cases desiring to get married. This is compounded by the effects of the barbaric bouquet catching ritual. If you are unfortunate enough to have a girl you are seeing catch the bouquet, it will activate Wife Mode and you can say goodbye to your friend Aaron who never travels with less than five single hot women behind him.
CLICK TO READ 6 REASONS TO AVOID A RELATIONSHIP........
Category: Funny, Lists, Relationships
