The NFL's Shocking rule changes cause a Ripple in world sport!

AL | 1:38 PM |

By Africanlegend.
Roger Goodell, NFL commissioner, has begun an initiative to crack down on violent tackles in the NFL, stripping the game of everything that makes it interesting to it’s viewers. Commissioner Goodell told teams that "further action is required to emphasize the importance of teaching safe and controlled techniques and of playing within the rules." This coming after Dunta Robinson, of the Falcons, laid an I don’t like you or your momma hit on DeSean Jackson, of the Eagles, that left the two men debilitated and unable to continue playing. Robinson was later fined $50000 for what appeared to just be a fair but robust hit (isn't that what defenders are supposed to do?).

THE HIT THAT BEGAN THE MADNESS...


Summary of NFL Rule changes.

Not Allowed Allowed
Tackles not cleared with the other guy’s momma. Hugs,Cuddling
Tackles that will hurt the opponents feelings. Potlucks and Picnics
Tackles that will destroy opponent’s self esteem. Affectionate hand shaking
Tackles in General. Holding hands
Tackles that involve using any of the following body parts: Head, arms, legs, feet, chest, thighs, biceps, triceps or back Kissing, necking and petting if a touch down is scored.

This sparked a revolutionary wave of change, with all sports aiming to improve their safety standards to make sport a better experience for all players involved.

Tennis
The ATP has placed a ban on serving the ball so hard that the other player can’t get to it. Every Ace served will be punishable by a $50000 fine. In addition to that Roger Federer and Raphael Nadal were banished from the game for excessive winning, which is viewed as inconsiderate to their fellow professionals.

Basketball
The NBA has mandated that there shall be no more dunking in people’s faces because it hurts the players feelings and makes people laugh at them. 'Facials' will be punishable with a 3 game suspension. The LA Lakers and Boston Celtics were also required to include at least 4 high school kids under 5 foot 5 inches to even the playing field.

Rugby
The Rugby Union banned all players of Maori, Aborigine or African decent because their abundance of speed was making it too hard for white people to make it into Rugby teams. Having any people of these origins now carries a 10 year ban for the country at fault.

Soccer
FiFA banned the entire Spanish national team because they keep the ball too long and don’t let the other team score. This causes other players irreparable psychological damage. Spain were also banned because players from other teams complained that women find Spanish players to be too attractive, citing their corny Spanish accents, long flowing hair, and Antonio Banderas, as reasons for this.

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