The Essential Sparkling Guide to Men
Now you too can be him, have him or do him if you follow my guide. By Sparklingjem
Most men subscribe to a certain prototype to attract women. This makes the 'finding a date' process faster and more efficient. Women know what they're looking for, or at least they think they do, and make up their minds very quickly based on certain types. The Sparklingjem Essential Guide to Men will show you how to embody the most popular types and what sort of girls or occasions each type is best suited for. So whether you're a guy trying to maximize his chances of getting laid this holiday or a girl looking for a date to make your colleagues swoon or give your mother a heart attack at her annual Christmas party, i.e. annual reminder you are "not getting any younger and why can't you settled down with a nice boy like your perfect sister Joan?", my comprehensive guide is here to help you find the perfect guy.
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Mr Romantic(Monsieur Passion) - Women love to feel special and he’s not afraid to show the world how much he loves her.
The Free Spirit - He is passionate to the extreme, if he is willing to sacrifice so much for the seals in Antarctica imagine how committed he could be to you.
The Rebel - He’s dangerous, unobtainable and your mother would never approve.
The Intelligent/Witty Guy - He makes conversation fun and interesting and we know how women love to talk. Plus he is going somewhere. This is the guy who is going to succeed in life and that is attractive.
Hmmm...athlete, rebel or nerd?The Foreign Guy - He is "sophisticated", unique and vulnerable. Even if he’s not showing it, he is probably missing home and we’d love to take away his pain.
The Nerd - A lot of research is being done but as of now, there is no conclusive evidence that a Nerd is irresistible to any woman except a female nerd.
The Artistic Guy - All women want to be immortalized in art. Think of the Dark Lady in Shakespeare’s sonnets or the Mona Lisa. People around the world have been praising their beauty for centuries.
The Cocky/Confident Guy - He keeps telling you he's irresistible until you believe him.
Men who do not fall into any one of these categories are either subversive, extremely dangerous and should be avoided. They are not looking for a date/to get laid and therefore are a waste of time or have not yet been helped by my handy guide. In the latter case, in the spirit of Christmas, send them a link.
Category: Funny, Lists, Relationships
