5 Tricks that will Actually get you Customer Service at Walmart!
 |
| Umm.....by actually HELPING? |
The concept of genuine customer service has been thrown out of a 16 storey window and shattered into a thousand unrecognizable pieces. Generally, the bigger the store, the worse the customer service.
I was in Walmart looking for a blow up mattresses. I had no GPS, and not enough food and water to attempt to navigate their giant store without help, so I looked around for a customer sales representative. I walked around for 25 minutes and found no one. Soon thereafter I noticed the Vultures had began circling around me. I was beginning to feel as if I was the unwilling participant in a game of hide and seek, until I slipped on a puddle of water and almost split my head open...
ONLY THEN.....
a frail looking high school student emerged from the abyss from whence he had come and asked if I needed help. I responded that I needed a blow up mattress, but my needs had evolved to also include an ambulance and perhaps a lawyer....
From anecdotal research, I have compiled list of a few things you can do to actually get customer service in Walmart.
1. Steal something.
This may not work because the people responsible for customer service are invariably going to also be responsible for catching shop lifters. The latter seems more difficult than the former. Therefore, they may be worse at it
2. Dress like the Homeless.
People dress in a variety of ways in WalMart and what passes for homeless in your mind, may pass for ordinary in many WalMart outlets. So see your local WalMart for details.
3. Spread a deadly disease.
If you spread a little Anthrax in the store, your chances of illiciting a response from someone will be marginally higher.
4. Break a bone
If you break the right bone, you can't move indefinitely. After 5-6 hours one of the 3 customer services reps is statistically likely to run into you, if nothing by mistake.
5. Die
You will get attention from staff, but unless you were buying a coffin for yourself, you will likely not get the product you set out for.
I am leaning towards online shopping because at least I can simply navigate a website and find exactly what I want with little chance of strangling a sales rep or breaking my neck. For example, lets use Become.com as an example. I think online stores like this save me the issues of having to deal with too many stupid people and of course they have access to more products than one could ever possibly need: like the Timex Ironman watch, in case you need something hard core to get chicks, The Gillete Mach3 razor in case your face is beginning to resemble big foot's and dozens of Flotec pumps which to be honest, I cannot correlate in anyway to getting chicks...
Either way, I think it is safer this way for all parties involved and for my sanity......
Category: Lists
