Christina Aguilera botches National Anthem and Does anyone Actually like Will I Am?

AL | 12:58 AM |

By Africanlegend
Christina Aguilera is yet another victim of  the "Sing it like Aretha Franklin" syndrome and the United States National anthem added yet another singer to it's resume of cullings. Never mind forgetting the actual words to the song, but Christina forgot that she is not a Big Black Woman and therefore cannot hit all of the Big Black Woman notes with her voice. She was left breathless and her black outfit became a symbol for the ominous way the night was going.


Enough about it though, leave the poor woman alone, most people botch the national anthem anyway. It is a very difficult song to pull off. Just because you have Twitter and Facebook doesn't make you worthy of critiquing her; the lady can sing. She just screwed up.

Even Michael Bolton, the most soulful, talented singer to grace our screens since Brian Adams, messed it up.....And he managed to mess it up singing it Open Book with cheat sheets.


I don't fault Christina for forgetting a line, sometimes I forget to brush my teeth and I am not even at a Super Bowl. I fault her for her Big Black Woman impression. There is one important lesson to be learned from all of this.

BLACK WOMEN HAVE PURPOSELY MADE IT SO THAT WHITE WOMEN CAN'T COPY THEM AT ANYTHING.......

MORE IMPORTANTLY.....

Does anyone actually like Will I Am? 

Will I Am and other people I don't like...
Will I Am is spreading like a cancerous, talentless, tumor and there is no way to escape him short of relocating to Uranus. I can even prove statistically that Will I Am sucks. I was at a Super Bowl party and there were 23 people there in a good mood and in extremely cheerful spirits. Then Will I AM contaminated the programming at approximately 8 pm and melancholy descended upon everyone. Will I Am proceeded to try to blind us with luminous lighting effects and deafen us with Techno; a felony assault in most states. I took a brief survey and only 1 person out of 23 appreciated seeing Will I Am and she was German. Europeans still think it's acceptable for a grown man to wear a speedo so how can their opinion count?

Later I called my little sister who is trendier than I and part of the reason why Justin Beiber exists and why everything on TV is about vampires (#mylittlesisterislame) and it turns out she does not like him either. If you like Robert Pattin-whatever his name is, then you have reached the lowest possible threshold of decency a human being could possibly hit. So remind me again how Will I Am managed to infest a half time show with a 111 million viewer audience and more importantly what is the cure for him?


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