Swedish Honeymooner's death in South African Township: Brutal Murder or Natural Selection?
EITHER WAY, NOT OUR FAULT....
THE STORY:
A Swedish woman, Anni Dewani, arrived in South Africa for her honeymoon with her husband of two weeks Shrien Dewani. The newlyweds had been out to dinner on Saturday night and taken a taxi from the restaurant when two men forced the driver out of the minivan and drove off with the couple around 11pm. Upon being released by the kidnappers, Shrien Dewani called the police, who later found his wife murdered in the taxi (Read story).
 |
| It's just not "Real Africa" unless there are poor black kids. |
Scenario 1: A Fatal Mistake?
Maybe they arrived in South Africa, starry eyed with love after a fairytale Indian wedding and decided to jump into a cab hoping to explore beautiful Cape Town. Tired of the clean wealthy areas that reminded her of home the bride suggested they be more adventurous and see "real africa". She persuades her hubby that they should go to tourist hot spot "Mzoli’s Meat" which UK celebrity Jamie Oliver describes as "totally sexy." What's not sexy is that between 2005 and 2010 there have been 700 murders in Gugulethu. At one murder every 2.5 days it's definitely not place to be at 11pm at night.
The shuttle driver agreed to drive them to Gugulethu at this obscene hour either because:
A) He was offered a sh@t load of money.
B) He is a bafoon.
C) Not really a friendly taxi driver but an evil villain in disguise.
Suddenly the car is hi-jacked by two opportunistic criminals who throw greedy idiot taxi driver/evil villain out the car, dump the husband on the street a few minutes later, drive off with his wife and the rest is history.... (Full story here)
Scenario 2: A Quick Divorce
LATEST: Evidence supports theory that husband paid for his wife's murder.
Was the whole thing a well orchestrated plan for a man to rid himself of wife? I don't care how hungry, tired, sick or terminally ill you are but it is never a good idea to go into a Township at 11pm at night and not be:
A) Black.
B) A black criminal.
C) Somebody in charge of Black Criminals
Hopefully this is expressed on travel brochures. How desperate could you possibly be to risk your life for meat. Apparently even the store owner of "Mzoli’s Meat" will not even risk his life to sell the meat, closing the store at 7pm everyday. So where exactly where they headed to? It's hard to believe the shuttle driver wouldn't be privy to such information considering the place is pretty popular.
The husband Shrien, whose life was conveniently spared, leaving him able to possibly identify his captors, claimed the whole incident is the "stuff of movies" explaining that all hijackers wanted was the car which they later dumped in Khayelitsha where Anni's dead body was found. Shortly thereafter Shrien is giving interviews to The Sun, UK's most totally true, totally accurrate, 1000% credible news source; more credible than Jesus himself.
Notes:
~ As a rule of thumb what is not safe in the ghetto's of New York or London will certain not be safe in any Township anywhere on the planet.
~ I am tired of poor black kids and poverty being the example of "Real Africa" and even if it is, it makes more sense to see "Real Africa" during the day when it is safer. What do you think poor black kids will do to rich white people just watching them?
~ Go on a Safari instead like other lame tourists. It maybe cliche but it's a beautiful, natural experience.
~ I know a dangerous ghetto where we can get a snack is an idea worthy of Darwin Award, usually reserved for people who like to cuddle their pet pythons at night.
Category: Funny
