6 brilliant Ways to Ditch an Annoying Guy!
By Sparklingjem.
Ladies often try to communicate with guys using subtle hints. Sadly, the male brain is only capable of decoding direct communication such as, a clear yes or no, or a violent club to the back of the head. For this reason, it is important to make your hints poignant enough for him to get the message. Here are a few ways to let him know in a subtle but dainty manner that he needs to buzz off. Use them BUT don't abuse them. (Also see 10 signs she's not into you)
1. The insurmountable obstacle tactic.
If he happens to mention any topic, event, person or thing that he likes, express your hatred for it vehemently and then claim it is an insurmountable obstacle and you can never EVER be together as a result of it.
For Example:
Guy: Hey I really love kittens! :-)
Girl: Oh my God! I really HATE kittens. Why would I like stupid little animals that play with balls of wool all day! In fact I am actually allergic to kittens AND to men that like kittens. In fact, I think I am breaking out in hives already! Clearly we can never be together!
2. No plan is a better than ANY plan with you.
If a guy question asks you what you are doing at the weekend, you can usually take this to be the precursor to him asking you to do something with him. Respond enthusiastically by stating that you have absolutely no plans at all. He will then ask you if you want to do something with him. Reply by telling him that you have made a commitment to having no plans and you really don't want to flake out on that.
Don’t reply to every one of his text messages. Start by only answering 2 out of every 3 he sends; gradually increase the number of texts you ignore until you are averaging about 1 in 15-20 texts. When he asks you why you have not been responding to his texts, simply claim you were too busy and could not free up the 0.34 seconds necessary to respond to it.
4. The National "Do not call ME list".
Don’t answer his calls, let it ring and then text back instead, effectively placing him on the national "do not call ME list". Begin to limit the amount of time you spend together by claiming to be “super-busy”. Never give specific reasons that he can argue with just say, “Oh. I’m busy.” However, if you want to be facetious, You can take this a step further and actually give him specific reasons that are highly implausible and in some cases impossible.
For Example:
Male: Hey why didn't you return my call!! It's been 4 days?
Girl: Well, exxxcccuussseeee me! Next time I hold peace talks with Muammar Gaddafi and all the leaders of the free world to solve the Libyan conflict, I'll be sure to take a minute to return your call.
When you are with him, begin to talk about other men as if they are superior to him in every way possible and even claim some of them possess super powers. There is nothing a man hates than hearing a woman talk about another man in awe.
For Example:
Girl: Today someone fell from the 174th floor of a building we were walking past. Thankfully, Steve managed to teleport and catch them before they hit the ground. Then he carried them back up the side of the building, placed them back in their office and came back down with a bouquet of flowers for me. Steve is so awesome! (bat eyelids) You do anything extraordinary today?
6. Ex-communication
Don’t communicate with him over the weekend, when he asks why, say you were too busy to call him. Then give him an itinerary of ridiculously boring activities you did in lieu of calling. Preferably, things that illustrate the abundance of opportunity you had to call.
For Example:
Guy: Why didn’t you call me this weekend?”
Girl: “Oh, I was WAY too busy.”
Guy: “Oh”
Girl: “Yeah. I worked out that an average of eight yellow cars drive past my window every hour and I watched a Hannah Montana marathon on Disney channel. Oh, I also re-created the final battle from Lord of the Rings by making all 95270 characters out of origami. So I mean, I just couldn't possibly cram you in”
Category: Funny
