How To Do the Least Work in a Group Project and get away with it!

You will encounter group work many times in your life. Every group has the same basic organizational structure. Let us consider a group consisting of five members. In a group of five you will encounter these five basic roles in one shape or another.

The Decider

This is the person that will elect themselves leader without anybody's consent. This is because they have an inflated sense of themselves and their abilities and believe that they are more capable of running the group than anyone else. This Decider lacks good ideas and they compensate for it by puffing up their chest, barking orders and talking over people. This position is often assumed by the bitchy feminist girl that has a grudge against all men or the guy that thinks that someday he will run for president.

The Creator

This role is assumed by the most offbeat, creative member of the group who is naturally capable of coming up with many brilliant ideas much to the envy of "The Decider." The Creator's offbeat, unorthodox nature pisses off "The Decider," who views The Creator as their biggest threat to leadership. Consequently, The "Decider" will spend a lot of time shutting down any ideas The Creator comes up with regardless of their merit. This tension will continue untill the night before the project is due when the situation is declared  a Mexican Standoff.

The Slave
Eager and enthusiastic, The Slave will do anything asked of them with no questions asked. The Slave realizes the best asset they have to offer the group is their work ethic and complete servitude. The Slave may be talented and full of ideas but their passive nature causes them to either underestimate themselves or be too timid to battle for leadership with "The Creator" and "The Decider."

The Scribe
The scribe is very eager to put things together. They enjoy collecting every group member's contributions and collating them into one piece of art. The Scribe will generally stay out of group dynamics and simply handle administrative duties like: collecting phone numbers and email addresses, making sure group members hand in their work and letting everyone know about meeting times etc.

The Ghost 

The Ghost is the most erratic group member. They are unpredictable and this gives everyone a headache. The are usually late to meetings or do not show up at all. The Ghost sees group work as an opportunity to do less work. "The Decider" is constantly on The Ghost's nuts and will inevitably report them to the professor for lack of dedication. The Ghost will also be "The Decider's" scapegoat should things go array. Ultimately, The Ghost will  step up and produce amazing work come presentation time and this will make all the group members feel guilty after having all given The Ghost a terrible and scathing peer review.

AND NOW.......AS PROMISED

How to do the least work....
Assuming the role of "The Decider" or "The Creator" is out of the question. They are stressful positions and tend to involve a substantial amount of work. "The Slave" is obviously a bad idea since everyone will delegate work to them, ultimately meaning they will perform the most labor for the least payoff. "The Ghost" is risky role as it may lead to recieving individual punishment via peer review or should one of the other group members choose to report their conduct to the professor.

To do the least work and get away with it, you should be "The Scribe." The scribe doesn't do anything. Nobody asks them to come up with ideas and they don't have to get involved in group dynamics. The Scribe also has the luxury of contributing the least amount of work but has control of all the information, meaning they can mask their paltry contribution. To pull it off, you simply have to attend all meetings, stay on top of things and most importantly bombard the other team members with emails. Email all day, everyday. Email them to tell them you received work, when you need work, about meeting times, about what you had for lunch, just keep sending them. You will appear as if  you are doing so much work when in reality you aren't doing much of anything at all except sending emails.

In any event, for those of you semi-serious about school, by all mean ignore what I have to say and stay on top of your studies. SchoolTutoring.com can help you. Be sure to visit their site and see their programs here maybe there is one for you.

Category: Funny