Ask a Legend: I'm Done with men, I'll just get a dog instead

AL | 4:55 PM |


Dear Africanlegend,
I am 31 year old woman, I have dated all sorts men and it has just never worked out for one reason or another. There seem to be no good men out there at my age. All the men I meet are usually creeps or just have something very off about them. I give up! I think I'll just get a dog instead. What do you think?

I love dogs, especially cute ones and they are great companions so ordinarily I'd say go for it but I think you are getting one for all the wrong reasons. A dog's purpose is to eat, bark and defecate and it's unfair to burden it with filling the role of your life mate.

Your idea is cowardly and perhaps born of pro-female programming that is causing women to eliminate the possibility that they may in fact suck out of the equation.

It's easier for you to blame all men as if they are some homogenous, uniformly behaving entity than to look at yourself and take responsibility for the choices you have make. If all your relationships always end up going nuclear then it stands to reason that the common element is likely the problem. Either through your choice in men or perhaps some eccentricity about you that is not conducive to stable relationships ~ you are crazy and not in a cute way ~ you are responsible and unless you admit that things will never change. One or two disastrous relationships is understandable but if they are all failing the villain becomes more apparent.

I think you subconsciously know that you are to blame but you have chosen to perpetuate your denial and drag an innocent dog into it. A dog who thinks you love him for who he is when you are actually using him as a safety net. Something you can love that won't leave you, betray you, get fed up with you or react to you when behave poorly.

Rather than mask your inefficiencies but getting a dog, sit down and really take a critical look at yourself and see what you can do to make sure you have better relationships with the opposite sex in future instead of turning yourself in a bad cliche and poisoning peoples' Facebook timelines with a continuous stream of vomit about you new dog.

Bottom line is, improve yourself, stop embracing your "craziness" and when all is said and done by all means get a dog and make it a big one. There is simply no excuse for a small one......

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