Universal Scale of Ugliness: "Fair"

(See the Universal Scale of Ugliness)

It is extremely important that you quickly come to terms with the average nature of your existence. A good phrase to describe you would be “six of one half a dozen of the other” or "Apples, Peas Carrots" or even simpler "eh". People will find it very difficult to decipher whether or not you are on the attractive side of the cut-off point or on the side that leads to the abyss of grotesquery. Truth be told if you try really hard it will likely push you in a positive direction. Be prepared to see people looking at you from different angles with different special effects in an attempt to ascertain your aggregate attractiveness. So do not be surprised if someone circles you with a flashlight flicking it on and off scanning you while simultaneously adjusting the light. You should determine your best angle via a loyal friend. Try to face people in social situations to give them that vantage point .i.e if your most flattering angle is from a birds eye view then gently lean forward showing the top of your head at all times to maximize attractiveness. You do not have to worry you will be acceptable to most people's parents. It might be the case that peoples' animals may occasionally bark, hiss or sneer at you but your general impact will be pleasant. You will hear very few positive compliments about non-intelligence related things but on the same token you will not receive bad ones. You are like the guy that finishes position 100 in a marathon. Although you have done well you will not receive honorable mention. It goes without saying that your investment in intelligence, humor and a kind, giving heart will prove to be the key to your survival. If you act the fool, people will say, “I don't know what gives them the right to act like that they aren't even THAT hot.” My point is everything will be ok if you excel as a person and bring joy into the lives of others.

Chance of being successful: 55%

Personality: Generally sunny disposition, pleasant.

Chance of Marriage: 75 %

Chance of divorce: 15 %

COMING SOON: The Universal Scale of Ugliness: "CHARISMATIC"!!!!!

Category: Funny, Lists, Relationships