The Sparkling Guide to Men: The Free Spirit
"But infinitely more dirty!"
By Sparklingjem.
The free spirit is a passionate nomad, unchained by the fetters of social conditioning. He has let go of our western attachment to material objects and disposable lifestyles. He is a great believer in saving the planet by minimizing his impact rather than actively doing anything. Consequently, he will choose to have no home, no car and no money. In short, he is a hippie who has missed his era. In the 21st century he is little more than a broke romantic in terms of relationships. His saving grace is his strong ideals and passionate beliefs. Whether his ideals and beliefs are born out of necessity from his lifestyle or vice versa makes little difference. He has to impress you with his grand thoughts rather than gestures.
Becoming the free spirit:
The free spirit is not for everyone, you really have to be able to commit to not caring about hygiene and other superfluous things considered important by our "misguided" society. It is essential you have a registered cause to fight for as without one you are just “The Crazy Guy” who does not even feature on our list (hmm..or maybe I'll get AL to write that since I suspect he may be one.). A piece of cardboard proclaiming “The end is nigh” does not count as a cause. you also need a guitar (guitar chords). You don't even have to be able to play it because carrying it around and distracting people by talking non-stop about social issues seems to work just as well.
Types of girls this is best for: rebellious rich girls, naive idealistic girls, girls who have lost their sense of smell.
Guys who suit this role: homeless and unemployed guys, failed visionaries, incredibly ineffective anarchists.
Why he’s irresistible: he is passionate to the extreme, if he is willing to sacrifice so much for the seals in Antarctica imagine how committed he could be to you.
What you should wear: fifth hand clothing, preferably found in a dumpster, reconstituted bedding and curtains. Ironically, most of these items can be found at department stores like Abercrombie and Fitch but at prices ranges spitefully out of the Free Spirit's budget.
Where you should take her: feed the ducks in the park with stolen bread, green peace rallies, anti-war protests.
Important tips: The dating range of the free spirit is limited. This is because girls develop a natural instinct to home build during puberty. Once they reach the age of 21 they expect The Free Spirit to become Mr Romantic, and suddenly acquire at the very least a home.
COMING SOON: The Rebel
Category: Relationships
