Stupid people that need to GO: The "I don't listen to mainstream music" guy.
By Musty.
You have ALL encountered this stupid person at some point because he often has nothing better to do. This scenario will sound familiar: It's bright and early on a Monday morning. You get into your cubicle to get some work done and turn on the radio to help you focus. Suddenly this guy pops up out of nowhere. "What song is this dude?" he asks, with a slightly evil look in his eye. He already knows exactly how this is going to play out. "This is the new Coldplay song", you reply a little smugly. He quickly volleys back with the classic, "Oooooh, I would have never known... I don't listen to pop music". A little daunted, you ask him why not. He immediately launches into his standard "Oh, it's just too commercial, too overproduced and it's just not that good dude!" He's used it 600 times but it always works. You make the fatal mistake of asking him what he listens to. He proceeds to tell you all about this underground indie ska rock band out of Sweden called Chupäcäbrå, and this Himalayan Buddhist monk hip-hop group named Salute to the Gun. All you can do is just sit there helpless and nod while he shoves obscure band names down your throat as if he was force feeding a disgruntled child.
Why this person is a Douchebag: Do you want to know why that underground Ska band he raves about is still underground? BECAUSE THEY ARE NOT GOOD ENOUGH TO BECOME A POPULAR BAND. People like this assume that the greatness of a band is inversely proportional to how many fans they have. "But if that was the case, dumbass, then the Beatles would be equivalent to four retarded monkeys wearing propeller hats blowing on kazoos."
How to deal with this person: Think of a series of words that have no meaning individually and a random country that may or may not exist, and when this person tells you about their band, you can counter with this. "Sounds cool, bro, but have you heard Anklomaena? They're a Neo-Afro revisionist Sampala band that takes their influences from the Kundari people of East Timor. They're pretty badass" As soon as they hear that, they'll realize they've been put in their place, and they won't bother you for at least 3 days while they try to Google this non-existent band. Either way, The "I don't listen to mainstream music" guy just has to GO!
OTHER STUPID PEOPLE THAT NEED TO GO:
The "My boyfriend is like Jesus but twice as good" chick.
The "You don't know what you are missing" guy.
The "I don't listen to mainstream music" guy.
The "F My life" chick
The "Yeah I'm an Asshole so what?" guy.
The "OCD" Chick.
"The book is way better than the movie" guy.
The "Google Me" Guy
The "All men are Jerks" chick.
The "I can't live without my i-phone" chick.
Debie Downer.
The "Do you live in mud huts in Africa?" guy.
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