Stuff-About.com's Horror-scope: The yucky, romantic, valentines month version!
"Proof the cupid is gay"
You are expecting something extra special this month but unless you have a Mr Romantic in your life you are likely to be disappointed. If you get desperate you can easily find one at www.romanticsingles.com
Pisces February 19 – March 20
Venus enters your sign at the beginning of the month, making valentine’s highly pleasurable this month. Venus, the bringer of love and romance arrives at an opportune moment to relieve the tension in your life.
Aries March 21 – April 19
This month you are valuing your privacy more than ever, and you are right to do so. This is not a favourable time to reveal your identity. That is why anonymous valentines were invented. You will have to be content with watching for a while longer.
Taurus April 20 – May 20
Valentine’s day brings a great opportunity to act on the dissatisfaction you have been feeling for some time. Read “6 steps to the best break up ever” to make the most of this opportunity.
Gemini May 21 – June 20
You are dreaming big this month and making your move on someone you have been thinking about for a long time. Do not despair if you do not get a response by valentines, your card has probably been thrown out along with the other “deranged fan” mail. Next time avoid blood or other bodily fluids.
Cancer June 21 – July 22
Love has been tricky recently, and continues to baffle you in February. Everything you need to know is here in my 98 730 page guide to the opposite sex. People have tried to have my book banned because they don’t want YOU to have the answers. It has become a daily struggle against the forces of evil to keep my book available. I can only promise to keep selling it for the next 24 hours, after that there is no guarantee.
Leo July 23 – August 22
The extra sensory experiments you volunteered for are starting to take effect and this means you are especially aware of the needs of loved ones at the moment. Some of them may come as a surprise since you’ve never thought about this before but you can use this to your advantage.
Virgo August 23 – September 22
The movement of mercury in your seventh house of romance means this month will be full of conflict. The way to counter act this is by making sure you make an extra effort for Valentine’s day. It’s not guaranteed to work so make sure your gifts are fully refundable.
Libra September 23 – October 22
Romantic new beginnings are possible, but keep your eye out for deception or self-deception. Dual identities are intriguing but taken too far they can just confuse the issue. You may end up with the wrong person, then again that might be fun.
Scorpio October 23 – November 21
Someone at work is paying you more attention than you think is normal. Trust your instincts, it’s not normal. If you want something more concrete, check his restraining orders.
Sagittarius November 22 – December 21
It’s February, valentines month, love is in the air. You are overwhelmed by feelings of love and affection. You are ready to embrace the world and all people in it. you have reverted to the naivety of a five your old making your perfect partner this month “the free spirit”.
Capricorn December 22 – January 19
You have so many options for the future that it's hard to settle on just one. You have two weeks to set up a screening process to choose the perfect valentine. Perhaps you could have it filmed for a reality T.V. show.
Category: Horoscopes
