Vocabulary "A Jesse Woods"

By Africanlegend.
This behavioral pattern was pioneered by the first men to develop reason prior to the stone age. They very quickly realized that having many women was a far superior idea than having just one. However, it only recently become popularized by Tiger Woods and Jesse James, who were both involved in media hyped, ramphant adulterous escapades.

Pulling a "Jesse Woods" involves:

1. Getting in a relationship.

2. Getting your significant other to win an oscar (or award) and brag to everyone about how awesome you are and how you changed her life.

3. Getting in a vehicle accident. Preferably something small so you can survive and be exposed.  Bigger vehicles like airplanes would make your survival unlikely and hence defeat the purpose.

4. Having your wife or significant other find out about your shenanigans after reading TMZ.com before you get the chance to tell her.

5. Being beaten with some kind of sporting equipment e.g baseball bats, golf clubs or darts, then vehemently denying it when the whole world knows you got your ass kicked by a girl.

6. Checking yourself into sex-rehab and pretending you did it because of some uncontrollable force operating in your body that "forces" you to have sex with attractive women. (because every man needs to be forced to do that!)

Example.

Paul: Are Sally and Adam still together?
Dave: No. He pulled a Jesse Woods. We could all see it coming. She hit him over the head with a pool cue and he is in hospital right now. He should be in sex rehab by the end of the week.
Paul: That's sad! At least I'm happy though. My girlfriend Carol just won an award for best dancer at dance competition.....she had so many good things to say about me....

Category: Funny, Lists, Relationships