When to give a Guy your Number: The Dating Reform Bill.
Dating practices need to be radically changed before more people are irreparably and psychologically damaged by them. If you have not already done so, please read the preface; Dating Reform Bill: The Dating Game summed up and why it is stupid!
MOTION 1: To amend the wasteful practice of superfluous number exchanging and the subsequent non response of individuals.
CURRENT LAW:
Women may hand out their phone number to guys without ever having the intention of answering their phones when the guy calls them. And they certainly have no intention of ever calling the guy back. This process can be used as a self esteem boosting exercise.
The result: The gentleman calls and she sits around her cell phone with a couple of her BFFs looking at the caller ID saying:
Girl: OMG it's that guy from the bar last weekend. What should I do?
BFF: Nothing lets just watch your phone light up :-). It looks pretty!
On the other hand, men may ask girls that they are not interested in and have no intention of calling back for their numbers. This can be used as a practice exercise for the time they do meet a girl they are attracted to.
The result: He does not call and the girl organizes a ladies night where she sits with a box of tissues crying. Her BFFs cuddle with her and proceed to tell her how men are evil and how he wasn't man enough for her anyway.
The Amendments (Passed on Twitter Week 11 May 2010)
I: Amendment to end the wasteful exchange of phone numbers.
Women may only give their numbers to gentlemen if they have the intention of picking up the gentleman's attempted call or responding to his subsequent text messages. However, if she picks up her phone, she is not necessarily required to agree to go on a date with him especially if his conduct on the phone is unacceptable (READ: Must NOT interrogate me!).
Men may not use any female as a Guinea Pig and are required by law to grow some balls and ask only women they are genuinely interested in for their contact information.
II. Amendment to protect women from felony level douchebags.
Men are ordered to cease and desist from extreme persistence when asking a woman for a number if she says no firmly more than twice. If he continues, a woman may provide him with a fake number. If that fails, a woman may use any tricks she currently has in her arsenal to get rid of him with no penalty by law. These may include:
A) Pepper Spray.
B) Obtaining the services of a big black male friend to threaten or beat the man.
C) Unleashing the “bitchy hungry friend” on him.
D) Clobbering the guy with some kind of sporting equipment.
E) Alerting the bouncers or Law enforcement.
COMING SOON: Motion 2: How long to wait before calling.
BE A PART OF THE REVOLUTION: Spread the Article and/or join us on twitter to join the debate #datingreform.
Tweet us:
Africanlegnd: Speaker of the House.
Mr1derful83: Chief of Staff.
Sprklingjem: Female Regulatory Committee & amp; cute girl whose opinion we respect.
Category: Funny, Lists, Relationships
