Taking your Best Friend's Advice: Dating Reform Bill

By Africanlegend.

MOTION 3: To amend the powers of the "Best Friend Forever" or "BFF."

A brief summary of the BFF:

The Male World.
Your BFF would be the person you call for advice, go out clubbing with, go out looking for chicks with or the one who bails you out of prison after you got in a fight. When the girlfriend moves in, she will likely restructure the government. Your BFF will now go to her for advice. She will apply rules like curfews to night excursions or worse, she may even come along. She will also introduce the concept of a moral high ground and tell him not to bail you out of prison the next time you get into a fight so that you can learn your lesson. All things considered, a BFF with this much to lose is a poor candidate to hold dictatorial power in your dating practices.

The Female World
Your BFF would be your pseudo-lesbian partner. You shop together, watch soap operas, gossip and conspire to confuse men. You would call her your "wife" and there would be pictures of you kissing each other at margarita night on Facebook. It goes without saying that when she gets a boyfriend, she will erase you from existence and spend every dying minute with him. Even if she is not with him, she will keep referencing him till you feel the urge to slap her in the face. The is all compounded by the fact that your BFF doesn't even actually like you. You are just both equally single and miserable in ways that complement one another and things must stay that way.

Inter-gender BFF's
For the most part, this is just a fantasy unless extreme events have occurred that have killed any possibility of further fornication. In the case of most inter-gender BFF relationships, at least one of the parties desires to slumber with the other. In some cases, both do but have rationalized why they should not and instead opt to suffer each other's company while foaming from the mouth with desire. For that reason, they are the last people that should advise you on ANY dating related things. Inter-gender BFFs grow relationship-like attachments that they will resist breaking (I will go into detail in a future article).

CURRENT LAW:
The BFF has unbridled power in the dating process and is called upon to provide their final opinion to either, approve of a potential mate or exercise their veto powers to banish them.

Amendments 
Amendment I. The powers of the BFF shall be amended  to a state at which their advice to the principal is considered to be a friendly suggestion that the principal is under no obligation to follow. If the suggestion is respectfully declined, a BFF is denied the legal right to impose emotional or physical sanctions against you.

Amendment II: The principal shall grow a pair of balls and hang out with the potential mate for an adequate time in order to create an honest picture of their character and integrity and judge them predominantly based on that.

Amendment III: The advise of a single BFF shall have 11% the weight of the advice of a coupled BFF, who will be more likely to try to help you ascend to their level of coupled misery.

ALSO READ
INTRO: Dating game summed up,
MOTION 1: When to give a guy your number.
MOTION 2: When to call a girl back.

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Africanlegnd: Speaker of the House.
Mr1derful83: Chief of Staff.
Sprklingjem: Female Regulatory Committee & amp; cute girl whose opinion we respect.

Category: Funny, Lists, Relationships