Stupid People that Need to Go! The “All men are Jerks” girl.
By Africanlegend.
You are enjoying a very productive work day. You have managed to avoid the boss and you have done all your toughest, work related, tasks like replying to all the mindless nonsense on your Facebook wall, tweeting that you are having your worst hangover since you were twenty three and reading all the humor blogs you can think of that do not contain pornographic material. You get up casually to get water from the cooler. As you turn the corner, you see three of your female colleagues at the cooler chatting. You know it is a terrible idea to proceed with operation hydration but it’s too late to turn around and you are legitimately thirsty. You can already overhear their conversation.
Susie: So you guys broke up? So quickly?
Jain: Yeah! That was fast! How long was it this time? 3 days? Where did you even find this guy?
AMAJ Girl: On eharmony.com! 29 dimensions of compatibility my ass! What a jerk! Oh he thought he was smart trying to cheat on me, but I’m smarter. I got my friend at the CIA to trace his location by satellite then I slept with the guy at T-mobile to get all his phone records. Yeah he thought he had it ALL figured out. I showed him!!
Susie: I’m sorry things aren’t working out for you.
AMAJ Girl: Yeah! Like this is the 27th guy…there are just no good men in this city. They are all low lifes! You know what? I’m done!! I can’t stand this any more. ALL MEN ARE JERKS so there is no use in even trying!
As soon as you arrive at the cooler, AMAJ girl is heated to the point were she fails to recognize friend from foe and lashes out at you. She screams, “JERK!!!!!” before splashing a cup of water in your face and storming off. You are rather shocked and dripping wet, but on the bright side you are slightly more hydrated.
Why this person needs to go:
Firstly, they are annoying. Nobody really wants to sit around and hear you complaining about men all day. Secondly, all the men in your city don’t suck. It is way more likely that YOU suck. If you have dated several different men and your relationships with all of them failed miserably, you need to take a look at the cancerous constant that has been present in each of the failed relationships.
It may even be more subtle than that. Maybe you choose the wrong type of men. If he is an asshole in the beginning then that is just who he is. He will not change into an outstanding man just for you. When he inevitably double crosses you, he should actually get a medal of honor for acting exactly as advertised. For being true to himself. Think about it, if you bought a car that you knew had a block of C4 explosives attached to its gas tank, can you really complain when it explodes in your face?
Bottom Line:
Fact is, it’s almost always your fault. Either you suck and require a massive self-help revolution inspired by Oprah or you habitually pick the wrong kind of guys and enjoy the masochistic pleasure of repeated catastrophic failures. Either way, don't be a douchebag and blame ALL men!
Category:
