Missile over California connected to Jesus!

By The Webmaster.
November 9, California: A mysterious UFO was spotted off the coast of California; it was characterized by a moving object followed by a bright yellow streak or condensation trail. The government and military constituents of the United States have denied any involvement in what most observers described as an object resembling a military style missile or fighter jet.

After numerous stories, it has been confirmed that the mysterious sight that lit up the Californian skies was not a missile or any other conventional UFO i.e a flying saucer, plate or fork. It was in fact, a drill being run by Jesus Christ INC testing their Apocalyptic Return Readiness Protocol System (ARRPS).
Jesus Christ, known to most Christians as The Messiah or Jehovah died many years ago for our sins, rose from the dead and promised to return in the near future to save us from Kanye West and all the other depraved evils that have befallen mankind upon this earth since the dawn of creation. After several thousand years, Jesus has not even bothered to send a text, email or any other further correspondence regarding his imminent return.

The test was considered a success and caused the necessary panic needed to execute a successful Apocalyptic return, in accordance with the book of Revelations. Stuff-About.com has received exclusive information that Jesus Christ INC will return in the very near future to test some of its other protocols which will include its 5 headed beast, Chariots of Fire, Famine, as well as its exclusive Anarchy and Chaos Simulation Machine.

REAL UPDATE: The Pentagon has revealed that the plume was the condensation trail of a fighter Jet reinforcing a view held by most people on the planet. EVERYBODY IN CALIFORNIA IS HIGH.

Category: Funny