9 inches of snow Devastates Atlanta: 5 things I did when I was "snowed in":
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| Nine inches of Apocalytic chaos grips Atlanta. |
Many movies depict the south of the US as a warm, humid, musty place. Many of those depictions have been violently flushed down the toilet as most of the area is now buried in several inches of snow by a regional storm. Granted, if you live in any place where it does snow, you and your state know exactly how to deal with 9 inches of snow (i.e go outside and behave like a normal human being). However, since nobody is used to it down here in the south, Atlanta has come to a complete stand still and the Department of Transport officials are on the streets burning wood to de-ice the roads and performing ceremonial snow dances to ward off anymore snow. In any event, cabin fever is definitely the biggest pain in the butt residents are having to deal with ~ FML. Having to deal with yourself for long periods of time and realizing just exactly how boring and imaginative you truly are without other people is a harsh realization.
Anyway here's what I did......
1. Destroyed my brain with video games.
I spent hours playing Football Manager 2011 forsaking basic human requirements like showering, underwear changing and eating; after all technically I could go a couple of days without any of those and still be alive right? After about a million hours of that, I resorted to FIFA 2011 but it is so F@%ken fake that I figured something bad would happen when my FIFA rage met my cabin fever. The combination of the two would evolve into a deep depression and could have resulted in me throwing myself off the balcony but alas I'm way too happy a person to go down like that.
2. Watched the news and hoped to see other people suffering!
Before you judge me, let me explain. There is 24 hour coverage of the snow storm but what exactly are they covering? The weather is not changing by the minute and the news station knows this but they still have to show us something. So what do we see? Dudes and chicks, young and old lambasted by a deluge of snow; up to their ankles in the stuff! People pushing vehicles, hopelessly trying to find their way home and truckers Rolling on the Street, Smoking Tires while I sit at home Sipping on Gin and Juice. Some more exceptionally screwed than others. One of the more outstanding stories was of this guy that spun his BMW's wheels so ferociously in an attempt to escape the snow that he caused a spark under his hood. The spark, consequently developed into flames and he ended up blowing up his own vehicle -- go figure. I was in stitches.....
His car was NOT DFT!
Apparently, youtubers, who are renowned for their compassion, don't feel sorry for him either:"That's what you get when you mix snow , Atlanta and a moron" - UNKNOWN
"BMW $32, 000. Acting like a moron and setting your car on fire by spinning the tire then having to watch it burn at a gas station on TV, Priceless!!!!" - TNT23271
"I wasn't aware that a little ice in the south was like the apocalypse. I don't understand how this guy could sit there and spin his tires so much and not go anywhere and still just hit the gas like something is going to change" - RAMMULUX
3, Phoned and texted people
I called anyone and everyone. In fact, I even ended up calling people that I previously thought were my enemies but trust me if they are snowed in, the enemy of your enemy is your friend. They will be too bored to satisfy the carnal urge they have to dislike you. Right now my phone is blowing up so much you'd thing I was Justin Beiber. Unfortunately, I want it all to stop now, but I can't just quit communicating when I initiated it, that's felony level douchebaggery. I don't wanna pull a "you text me and I text you back....you texted me because?"
4. Played board games.
Having infinite time, Monopoly has to be my go to game because it generally won't end until someone is beaten up and/or maimed or killed. Since you have plenty of time, it is a great option especially if you don't mind seeing the worst of the worst surface from everyone playing. If you want to find out that your peaceful, Christian, older sister is really a corrupt, depraved mad woman, who would trample over a 13 year old just to get her $200 because he landed on Boardwalk, then you bet this is just the game to cure your cabin fever..~ Oh God she's coming I gotta go ~
5. Got fed up and tried to go outside.
All the apocalyptic news on TV will lead you to believe that if you attempt to go outside you will freeze instantly like in The Day After Tomorrow and if you attempt to drive your expensive car it will burst into flames. Truth be told, I got fed up and went outside and contrary to many reports I was ok. Most of cabin fever victims probably didn't even try to go outside and opted to stay indoors and complain about cabin fever on Facebook and twitter because they thought it trendy to do so (i.e myself but I'm black AND African so I have an excuse: I'm allergic to snow as a consequence of genetic predisposition). The only scar I have from this blizzard is the humiliation I feel after reporting to friends in Boston that I was snowed in by a massive, unprecedented 9 inches of snow. They laughed themselves into brain aneurysms while electing me as the butt of a massive beast of ridicule. At which point I felt it appropriate to remind them that size doesn't ALWAYS matter...
3, Phoned and texted people
I called anyone and everyone. In fact, I even ended up calling people that I previously thought were my enemies but trust me if they are snowed in, the enemy of your enemy is your friend. They will be too bored to satisfy the carnal urge they have to dislike you. Right now my phone is blowing up so much you'd thing I was Justin Beiber. Unfortunately, I want it all to stop now, but I can't just quit communicating when I initiated it, that's felony level douchebaggery. I don't wanna pull a "you text me and I text you back....you texted me because?"
4. Played board games.
Having infinite time, Monopoly has to be my go to game because it generally won't end until someone is beaten up and/or maimed or killed. Since you have plenty of time, it is a great option especially if you don't mind seeing the worst of the worst surface from everyone playing. If you want to find out that your peaceful, Christian, older sister is really a corrupt, depraved mad woman, who would trample over a 13 year old just to get her $200 because he landed on Boardwalk, then you bet this is just the game to cure your cabin fever..~ Oh God she's coming I gotta go ~
Just DON'T let it end up like this!
5. Got fed up and tried to go outside.
All the apocalyptic news on TV will lead you to believe that if you attempt to go outside you will freeze instantly like in The Day After Tomorrow and if you attempt to drive your expensive car it will burst into flames. Truth be told, I got fed up and went outside and contrary to many reports I was ok. Most of cabin fever victims probably didn't even try to go outside and opted to stay indoors and complain about cabin fever on Facebook and twitter because they thought it trendy to do so (i.e myself but I'm black AND African so I have an excuse: I'm allergic to snow as a consequence of genetic predisposition). The only scar I have from this blizzard is the humiliation I feel after reporting to friends in Boston that I was snowed in by a massive, unprecedented 9 inches of snow. They laughed themselves into brain aneurysms while electing me as the butt of a massive beast of ridicule. At which point I felt it appropriate to remind them that size doesn't ALWAYS matter...
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