Mysterious Bird and Fish deaths explained once and for all!

AL | 1:51 PM |

Dead Fish in Arkansas, victims of bad hip-hop music.
By Africanlegend (Bird and Fish Suicide Expert)
The world is in chaos as the turn of the new year has coincided with a string of mysterious events. Millions of dead fish surfaced in Maryland's Chesapeake Bay and on the shores of the Arkansas river in the U.S., while similar unexplained mass fish deaths occurred across the world in Brazil and New Zealand. Hosts of birds could be seen falling from the Swedish skies only a a few days after similar occurrences were reported in Arkansas and Louisiana.

What is happening? Is this end of the world? Is this a sign of the End of Days depicted so graphically in the Bible? Am I going to finally have to ask Sarah out?

Thankfully, there is no need for anyone to panic quite yet. It is becoming widely accepted by experts that there is a scientific reason for the mass death of birds and fish all over the world. Animals are known to have more acute senses than humans and in most cases tend to react more adversely to stimulus.
Terrible pop music downs birds in Sweden.
A lab test conducted earlier this week subjected 50 birds and fish to different auditory stimulus. It was soon thereafter observed that when subjected to modern pop and hip-hop music the birds and fish found it more prudent to resort to suicide rather than withstand the horrendous barrage of sound. Some birds even spared their fellow birds by pecking them to death or dipping their beaks in water and flying into electric circuitry while most fish simply decided to swim backwards and drown themselves while assisting fellow fish that needed help. The test was repeated 5 times to ensure its validity.

Katy Perry proved to be the biggest slayer of birds and fish and inspired the death of 100% of the test subjects, including the lab assistant administering the toxic sound. It is thought that with technology evolving as fast as it is, birds in the sky and fish in the water are being affected by bad music radio waves being transferred all over the planet from computer to computer and now to mobile phones at 4G speeds.

If you don't believe the study watch this video and tell me you don't feel like flying head first into a road from high altitude......

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