8 Reasons Every College Student is an Alcoholic!

By Africanlegend
I read an article about Alcoholism and Alcohol Abuse statistics and related it to my experiences and observations in college. Turns out many elements of college are just a dress rehearsal for future Alcoholism.

There is no doubt that teen alcohol abuse is a common occurrence in colleges and universities.

Here are 8 reasons most college kids are alcoholics.......

1. Lie to others or hide your drinking habits.

Studying of Econ at Kate's?

The weekend check-in from mommy to find out if you are doing well and to tell you that you can use her credit card for emergency purposes ONLY almost always involves a well disguised pack of lies. The only emergency that the mom's precious credit has been used for is thirst quenching via the purchase shots for all your friends.

I remember sitting in a restaurant with one of my female friends and she was sipping on a massive scorpion bowl while telling her mom she was going over to Kate's place later to study....on Friday night? Yeah right! Maybe to study the rate at which hard liquor erodes brain cells, a study worth of a thesis at the highest level.

2.“Black out” or forget what you did while you were drinking.
This was one thing I never understood. Not only is the phenomenon of blacking out common but it is glorified. What is so exciting about a night you cannot remember? Was it even exciting? You can't remember it so there is a really good chance it was a complete disaster. Maybe you tried to fight your best friend, tackled his girlfriend for absolutely no reason and placed your other friend in a trunk before attempting to ritualistically sacrifice him. My point is, you don't really know. It just makes more sense to me to have an interesting story to tell and share with other people other than to have a 2-3 void and headache the next day. You can easily get that from watching a Jean Claude Van Damme movie.

3. Regularly drink more than you intended to.

Flip Cup, A blend of teamwork, skill and heavy drinking

Can the average college kid say that they go out on a weekend and drink a reasonable amount? The amount they sat down and decided upon before leaving e.g "Just a couple of beers" "A few drinks" or some other benign phrases used prior to a night of chaos and keg stands. Consider Binge Drinking:

Definition:
"Today the generally accepted definition of binge drinking in the United States is the consumption of five or more drinks in a row by men — or four or more drinks in a row by women — at least once in the previous 2 weeks. Heavy binge drinking includes three or more such episodes in 2 weeks." kidshealth.org

 Not only do college kids binge drink, but they have stepped it up a notch and made it more pleasurable, active and even incorporated various elements of skill. For example, Beer Pong and flip cup entail hand eye coordination, teamwork and heavy drinking which steadily hinders the first two requirements. The drinking games are endless and vary from those that require actual skill to some that are as rudimentary as taking a sip of your drink every time they say "The Ring" in Lord of the Rings.

4. You find that it takes more alcohol to feel good than it did in the past?
One beer Queer, Light Weight, and A Cheap Date are all institutionalized ridicule for those that are entrapped by the powerful grip of intoxication after only a niggardly amount drinks. Little did anyone know that apparently alcohol addicts also often build up a formidable tolerance to alcohol. So is it really cool to be waking up in the morning and taking a shot before class or eating your cereal with Whiskey? ~ yes I have seen both.

5. Reaching for alcohol as a solution when you feel emotionally upset, need to calm yourself, or feel anxiety of any kind?

Happy hour!!!

"Emotionally upset, need to calm yourself, or feel anxiety of any kind..?" That sounds like having an exam to me and what is the first thing a lot of students do after writing exams? Drink themselves in a stupor. They feel as if they have absorbed too much eduction into their brain so the line up shot after shot and systematically kill any birth of knowledge they may have picked up while studying. In fairness, older folk do the same. They wipe out their days productivity with alcoholic beverages and call it "Happy Hour" so that their kids think they are out doing something more benign...."Susie don't cry, Daddy will be back soon, he is at Happy Hour."

6. You are drunk or high at work, school, special occasions, etc. to the point where you can not fulfill your obligations?
On St Patrick's day, I was in class going about business as usual. My class was docile. Only two people ever participated. This really obnoxious girl that thought she was always right and then me trying to prove that she wasn't. This day was different, the class was alive with participation. Everyone had something to say even the Lacrosse Dbags who in this case exposed the fact that they actually do homework or at least did so with the intention of having something to say when they showed up drunk to class. I was surprised at all this studiousness until the air was finally ripe with the vodka coffee stench emanating from flasks around the room. The teacher must have thought her material was really engaging. Turns out a shot of vodka can make any class work more stimulating

7. Add alcohol to beverages to conceal your drinking habit from your peers.
It's pretty much the story of attending sports events and the reason why at some colleges they restrict the colors of liquids and types of container you can bring. It may look like Coke and be in a Coke bottle but drinking a bottle of Coke is not likely to hinder your balance enough to send you tumbling down the arena steps sending popcorn shrapnel everywhere.

The favored choice of hard liquor would be something clear and mixable like Vodka or Rum which also happen to be choice beverages for Alcohol addicts according to some information I read the other day that I am way too lazy to find.

More useful information on teenage alcohol rehabilitation .......


There is no doubt that teen alcohol abuse is a common occurrence in colleges and universities.

Category: Funny