How Women Lock Down Men (Stage 1): The Best Buddy
By Africanlegend.
I have seen it time and time again, a man thinks he is in control of his situation and he even foolishly proclaims the fact that he has a great girl with no strings attached; they're just friends (with a few benefits). The next thing you know he finds himself picking out curtain railings at Home Depot or walking her 4 month old puppy, picking up it's excrement with a plastic bag on Friday night when he should be out with his boys.
Women do not Lock Down men on purpose. Putting a man on Lock Down is a necessary process to curtail the man from his genetic imperative, which is to stick his reproductive organ into any viable female. Women have come to realize that if they push the idea of commitment on a man too soon, he may pull the Usain Bolt and run as fast as he can in opposite direction. For this reason, an intricate grooming process is executed whereby the man will be made to behave like a boyfriend until eventually when he is fully Locked Down he will have no choice but to concede that he is. Being on Lock Down is a process that involves many phases. This is one of about 6.
Stage 1: The Best Buddy.
If a woman is not sure if a guy likes her the first thing she will do is, through her habits, present herself as infinitely cooler and more compliant than she actually is. This process is designed to make him logically come to the conclusion that she is superior to other women. That she lacks the classic traits most women have that annoy most men. At this stage, a girl will mimic the guys activities, pretend to like the same things he likes and take pleasure in the same activities he does,
If the guy goes drinking 9 days a week, she will do the same. If he snorts cocaine for breakfast, she will advise him on the best cocaine breakfast blend and talk his dealer into giving you half off on the cocaine. If the guy's friend Dave has an overly controlling girlfriend that won't let him do anything, she will get angry and claim that the bitch needs to loosen up and let him live, let him see his friends "because they matter too!" This will cause the guy to erroneously think, albeit for just a split second....
"Wow, this girl is not like the others, she is really super cool. She'd probabably make a cool girlfriend."
The guy is too stupid to remember the fact that Dave said exactly the same thing about his girlfriend two years ago before she turned into Lucifer. She used to be amazing. She was cool, she hung out, she was happy and she was very comfortable with letting him just hang out with the boys and play PS3 from time to time. Now you haven't seen Dave in months and when you do his facial hair is overgrown, his hygiene in shambles and he flaps his hands across his face trying to get rid of imaginary bats.
How did this even happen? How did his masculinity end up walking to the edge of a cliff and plummeting to it's own demise? The Super Best Buddy Stage is just the beginning. It is one of 6 steps in a woman's systematic plan to Lock Down a man, for good.
READ: Stage 2: The Capture!
Category: Funny, Lists, Relationships
