Stupid People that Need to GO: The Walking Cliche!

AL | 2:29 PM |

It's 5pm and time for you to wrap up a long day of arduous work at your office. You realize that for many weeks you have not made any effort to hang out with office folk so you take a leap of faith and decide to invite them all to happy hour. A girl in your office stands up. She has lofty, immovable, C cup boobs that are slowly creeping out of her blouse. They seem to have been getting bigger as the months have gone by, while her waist seems to shrink. She is wearing a pink blouse under a North Face fleece and starts removing her work shoes and putting on a pair UGGS right in front of you. She finishes a message on her i-phone before picking her head up and saying,

"OMG....awww...I so have to go to yoforias to meet my friends for frozen yogurt but I might stop by after." 
  
Everybody leaves. On the way to the bar, you encounter a troop of black dudes on the street corner. You fear the worst. The worst happens. They gang together and start a freestyle rap battle. The Battle is short lived because one of the disses is so offensive that it leads to a small altercation. 

A Policeman runs out of a donut shop, picks a black dude at random and mercilessly beats him to a pulp while asking him not to resist arrest. Turns out the black dude was a blind and very innocent bystander. You walk past the fray hoping you wont be mistaken for a participant. You stop by a 7/11 store where you purchase gum from an Indian man at the cash register who speaks some incomprehensible hybrid of Hindi and English. Thankfully you can read numbers and pay money or else you'd be stuck. 


Finally you arrive at the bar and outside you see a few people with dirty hair, tattered clothing, skinny jeans and plad shirts, smoking cigarettes. The clothing looks like it was purchased from a party supply store. You later find out they are some Anthropology students from the local college who were taking a break from their Gay Marriage protest. They give you a flier to a performance of their band "The Masquerade masks for Justice". The show is to raise awareness for the atrocities in Africa and Recycling?  You take a brief moment to think about the link between the two but your thoughts yield no explanation.

You enter the bar feeling a bit overwhelmed. The waitress walks by and you feel as if she looks familiar. A few minutes later you remember you went to a strip club in a nearby town and she was one of the strippers. You paid for a lap dance with her but it ended up being a morbid conversation about how she was stripping to get herself through college. You awkwardly say hi to one another before she takes your order and runs off to get your food and drinks. After sitting down and taking a deep breath, your colleagues start to arrive and you start complaining about how black people need to strive to be more than athletes and rappers and that they need to go to school. 

Sadly, you are a black educated man in a Bill Cosby sweater, so at the end of the day no one is surprised at your diatribe, neither is anyone really listening to you.

Let me guess: Steroids, blowouts, Techno, tanning? ---> CLICHE
Why these people have to go.
There are so many Walking Cliches I couldn't even fit them all into one post, but they all have one thing in common. Walking Cliches all choose to behave consistent with cultural norms, so much so that they become predictable and boring. They lack the courage to be unique and enjoy elements from all walks of life, they have no personality. If you like freestyle rapping, there is nothing wrong with reading a good book. If you are a pretty little glee-watching, college co-ed, there is nothing wrong with watching an informative documentary. The more diverse things you do, the more interesting of a person you will be. You don't have to be any particular thing or act a certain way to be accepted. At the end of the day, it is just better to be yourself ~ Sermon over.....

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