The Truth about Sex Rehab! Jessie and Tiger's Experiences.

By The Webmaster.
First Tiger Woods, now Jessie James. Celebrities checking themselves into Sex Rehab. What is Sex Rehab and what exactly does it entail? At Sparklingjem's suggestion, and in what she calls a preemptive measure, AL checked himself into a Sex Rehab facility last weekend. Here's what he found out.

Sex rehab works in 3 stages

Stage 1:
A full evaluation of the patient's history and any past “trauma”. All the fun they had and why it was bad.

Stage 2:
Confronting the patient's distorted view of reality.

Stage 3:
Relapse prevention. In severe cases this may require castration or neutering.




Some of the activities patients typically undergo:

1.Patients are shown graphic images of naked men and women putting their clothing back on. This helps the patients unlearn the idea that one can only take clothes off.

2.Patients are required to find alternate activities to do if they ever feel the uncontrollable desire to have sex; activities like baking. (This explained the massive 23 storey chocolate cake AL saw in the parking lot when he arrived).

3.Patients are made to watch Barny and Teletubbies for hours on end. This is to put them in touch with their innocent youth once again. It appears though that this may be more for the amusement of the nurses and staff.

4.Patients are made to look at pictures of Queen Victoria naked, which is enough to stop just about anyone from thinking about having sex.

5.Patients are made to log on to pornographic websites and when asked to verify that they are over 18, they are required to click "NO". This is repeated for a few hours until the process of automatically clicking "YES" is unlearned.

6.Every day patients are made to get sensual massages from Asian women and go home immediately after the massage is complete with no "happy ending".

7. Patients are made to watch videos of terrorist prostitutes that act as suicide bombers and explode themselves once you acquire their services, spreading numerous airborne, incurable STD's.

8.Patients are made to carry around volunteer babies with stickers on their foreheads that say “THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU HAVE TOO MUCH SEX”

Well there you have it! These programs are obviously very important in the rehabilitation of the 90% male population that check themselves into rehab.

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