100 things we take for granted: #13 Language
13# Language
 |
| "You are really cute but I have no idea what you're saying." |
Not long ago a friend of mine asked me over for drinks to meet this gorgeous Frenchman he had found. I arrived, got stuck into the booze, started chatting to my friend and eyed up this foreign delicacy. I was pretty unimpressed. I mean, he was gorgeous, but in a place where 'French' means Oliver Martinez, this guy was just about average. He was pretty quiet. said 'Hi' and not much else. My interest gradually waned until I was about to give up completely. Suddenly, he decided to join the conversation. My jaw dropped, I have no idea what he said but, the next thing I knew, I had a swift elbow in my side as my friend whispered “don’t be so obvious”.
Good advice! I had to flirt.......
Now came the moment where I had to be subtle but communicating, inviting but not overtly so; to draw him out and befriend him until he feels safe, then pounce. The only flaw in an otherwise flawless plan is that he hardly speaks any English. I speak no French except "voulez vous couche avec moi c’est soir", and I think that would throw the subtlety out the window. Our ancestors may have managed to get the message across in grunts and umphs but it’s not good enough for me.
Aside from being completely unable to impress anyone with my philosophical take on the underlying plot lines of Vampire Diaries, grunts and umphs just don’t sound sexy. It is difficult to appear witty and vivacious when you have had to repeat yourself five times and he still doesn’t understand what you mean. The inevitable game of charades that follows, just results in you looking ridiculous and it’s only marginally better than going the pictionary route. He won’t get the ironic ‘How you doin’ Friends reference, you’ll just sound creepy. Even when you try to talk about French films he only understands who Marion Cotillard is if you pronounce it right.
I am so grateful for language and guys who speak mine.
Category: 100 Things we take for GRANTED, Funny, Lists, Relationships
