John Boehner Speaks Out: Republicans Plan to Say NO to Themselves!

Africanlegend (Senior Political Systems Analyst)

Tuesday November 2nd, brought forth a sweeping shift in power in the US congress which saw the Republicans claim 239 seats, thus establishing a majority in the House and a firm grip on the success or failure of US public policy. The national tidal shift also resulted in many Democrat governors that supported Obama’s policies ousted and replaced with their Republican counterparts. So what next for the Republicans?

New Speaker of the House John Boehner was interviewed by Africanlegend about what the next step for the now empowered Republicans is. We have included an excerpt from the original transcript. The interview will be aired in full on NBC during the Jay Leno show, in place of musical guest Kanye West.

So what is next for the Republicans?
Well now we can put an end to wasteful "pork-barrel" spending, "lipstick on pig" ideas and extend George Bush’s tax cuts for individuals earning over $200000. By providing tax cuts to the wealthy, it will result in them taking the extra money, and giving it to the dressed up poor who leave their lights on who also regularly come knocking on their doors, thus distributing their wealth to them. It’s called “Trick or Treat Economics.”

What do you say to those that call the Republicans the "say no" party.
Of course we say NO. NO to Obama’s policies that burden the tax payers. Our plan is to save the tax payers money and that’s why for the last two years we have had no real humans representing Republicans in congress. We just had Japanese Robots that were only programed to say NO to everything. Currently we are using the Say-NOko 4000 models.

What about policies? Any major policies on the horizon?
Yes our major policy will be to reverse anything Obama did. This is our goal. It will be too complicated to establish new policies of our own because we fear that too many of our own Republican representatives will just say NO to our ideas.

Republicans will say no to themselves?
Yes the Japanese Say-NOko 4000 Robot will cost the tax payers too much money to reprogram. So sadly, we can only do things that involve having to say NO.

What do you think is on the horizon for President Obama?
Hahah! That nigga is screwed! Hahaha. Wait can we edit that out? no seriously. It slipped!

~ Tune in for the rest of the interview on the Jay Leno show on Monday 8th November. We promise Kanye West will NOT be on as scheduled.

Category: Funny, News, Politics